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Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? #1199876
12/04/11 01:48 AM
12/04/11 01:48 AM

L
laylasugar
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laylasugar
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L



So my boyfriend and i bought a new sugar glider, a female that was about a year old, if i remember right. we dont live together, though, and she lives with him. she has bonded with both of us, i am wondering if me not being there more than a few hours a day, four days a week, is giving her separation anxiety, even though my boyfriend is there with her?

Re: Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? [Re: ] #1199897
12/04/11 03:14 AM
12/04/11 03:14 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 10,569
IL (St. Louis area)
StitchsMom Offline
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StitchsMom  Offline
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:welcome: Hello and welcome to GC! I'm so glad you and your boyfriend have decided to give this little girl a special chance. A change in homes can be hard on a glider, but with a lot of love and good care, she will probably love you guys in no time. heart

A few details might help us give you better advice. How long ago did you two adopt her? What is her current routine? Like, who has her when and for how long? Is she showing any concerning signs of separation anxiety? Is she eating well and what diet is she currently on? What is her bond like with each of you?

If you have had her awhile and she is bonding well to you, than it could cause some anxiety when you are away. That said, most gliders do well being seen regularly on some kind of schedule. I don't think not seeing her for a day here and there will cause her too much stress. Again, that depends on her bond with you.

If she has your boyfriend when you aren't around and if they have a good bond and are spending time together, she shouldn't have too much to stress about. Of course, her bond with him will matter there.

Try giving us a few more details and I'm sure better advice will come along shortly. wink


~*~Jenny and the fur kids~*~

:grey: :grey: :grey: :leu:

>>> Sugar Glider Slave <<<
Re: Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? [Re: ] #1199942
12/04/11 11:45 AM
12/04/11 11:45 AM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 28,216
Washington D.C. Metro Area
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I agree with Jenny - even though you both aren't there at all times, I think she'll be just fine and will be happy to see you when you're there. What could cause her some stress would be if you moved her back and forth from place to place so I recommend keeping her at your BF's place and keeping the schedule you have. thumb

Re: Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? [Re: StitchsMom] #1200007
12/04/11 01:56 PM
12/04/11 01:56 PM

L
laylasugar
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laylasugar
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we've only had her for about two weeks. right now he stays up late and plays with her when she wants to be active, and during the day he is often carrying her in the bonding pouch. he always has her, unless i come over and then i wear the bonding pouch while im there. im concerned about separation anxiety because sometimes she seems like she does not like him and will go and curl up in a shirt with my scent on it,, or if he sets down the phone and i talk she will almost try to grab the phone. she is eating okay, fruits and vienna sausages, some yogurt. we are concerned about depression because she has begun crabbing and crying alot, is avoiding him throughout a large portion of the day, and has tried to scratch herself. im wondering if also she could finally be realizing she is not going to be around other sugar gliders anymore (she used to live with 4 others) and how can i help her?

Re: Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? [Re: ] #1200017
12/04/11 02:25 PM
12/04/11 02:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 728
Southern MN, USA
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You guys need to get her on a better diet. CLick on the word diet and it will bring you to the full list of ones out there. I use the BML diet, but she needs more nutrition than what she is getting now.

Also I recommend that you get her a friend, another sugar glider. They are colony animals and can become depressed if left alone without another sugar glider.


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Re: Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? [Re: ] #1200021
12/04/11 02:36 PM
12/04/11 02:36 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 28,216
Washington D.C. Metro Area
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I agree big time about the diet - vienna sausages are not something she ought to have in her diet. There are several "recognized" diets - if you click on the word diet, it will take you to a link of all of them, read through and choose one.

But, that's a topic for the diet forum and if you have more questions on it, please post there. As far as her behavior goes - gliders can be finicky. I think if she's stable where she is and has a good routine, she's going to be fine. You've only had her for a short time so the behavior now of crabbing or being a little out of sorts is normal - she still has some acclimating to do to her new surroundings and schedule.

Re: Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? [Re: ] #1200102
12/04/11 06:06 PM
12/04/11 06:06 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 10,569
IL (St. Louis area)
StitchsMom Offline
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StitchsMom  Offline
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Posts: 10,569
IL (St. Louis area)
If she came from a colony of five and is now alone, that is probably going to trigger some anxiety. Imagine being a new place all by yourself for the first time. Now imagine that you were just taken from your family. frown

I agree with the advice given above. Her diet is lacking. I highly suggest taking a look at some of the sugar glider diet options available to you. I've been feeding the original HPW diet for a few years now with a lot of success. I also think a glider friend would benefit her. Just make sure that if you decided to get her a friend that you read up on proper introduction techniques including a quarantine period and vet visits. thumb

I'm concerned that you said she is scratching herself. Is she missing fur? Has she bled? Is she crabbing when she does this? Has she been to a vet just to make sure everything is okay?


~*~Jenny and the fur kids~*~

:grey: :grey: :grey: :leu:

>>> Sugar Glider Slave <<<
Re: Bonding with two people, separation anxiety? [Re: ] #1200162
12/04/11 08:44 PM
12/04/11 08:44 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 28,216
Washington D.C. Metro Area
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous
DCMuffin  Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 28,216
Washington D.C. Metro Area
Jenny makes a good point - it's important when you bring a new glider into your home that you take them to the vet. Not only does it ensure that there are no medical issues (remember that stress will also induce medical issues), but it will establish you as a patient with your exotic vet. This is of utmost importance.

Finding your new baby a friend is equally important. Gliders are colony animals and in the long term, do not do well alone. There are certain circumstances where gliders can't or won't be with others, but that's not the norm. I think that once you find her a friend, you'll see her come out of her shell and thrive.


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