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I killed him. #2940
02/06/02 08:50 AM
02/06/02 08:50 AM

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I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.
Spikes I am so sorry. <img src="graemlins/crying.gif" border="0" alt="[crying]" /> <img src="graemlins/crying.gif" border="0" alt="[crying]" /> <img src="graemlins/crying.gif" border="0" alt="[crying]" /> <p>Last night I took out my two sugar glider's Ushuaia and Spikes and laid on my bed to study. Spikes and Ushuaia were mating, but Ushuaia looked as if she was uncomfortable. I put her in my shirt to releive her stress and they could mate in peace. Then I went back to reading. I was really really tired. I passes out. I woke up at 7:05am and I could not remember putting my gliders in their cage for the night. OMG I felt movement in my shirt. Out came Ushuaia happy as all day. I said where is Spikes? Just then I sat up. His body was under my back. I rolled over in the night and killed him. He was the most gentle male sugar glider I have ever owned. He would not bite you unless you had the scent of another unneutered male sugar glider on your hands. I did not mean to fall asleep with with them out. I was studying for a chemistry and was soo tired I passed out. I picked his up. He was still warm. He was flatened. I shudder to think he trusted me and thought me as a friend, he was bought from another student that I thought was not properly taking care of him. He snuggled next to me in the night because I was a safe place to him. Next thing he know he is being afixiated and crushed by the one he put his trust in. I loved him, as much as I loved my first sugar glider. I would never have done anything to hurt him. He was my friend.<p>I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. <img src="graemlins/crying.gif" border="0" alt="[crying]" />

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2941
02/06/02 09:05 AM
02/06/02 09:05 AM

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Oh sweetie..... I am SO Sorry to hear about your little one!! *big hugs* Let me know if there;s anything I can do to help you feel better...

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2942
02/06/02 09:41 AM
02/06/02 09:41 AM

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I am so sorry to read about Spikes. Please do not blame yourself too badly. As glider owners most of us suffer from a bit of sleep deprivation and after a while it catches up with us. It is the type of accident that has happened before and I am sure that it will happen again. It could have and will happen to any of us. It is no longer a rare occurence for me to wake up in this chair still working on a post that I had started hours before.
It seems to me that if Spikes had been snuggled up next to you that he was more than likely asleep when it happened. With the lack of oxygen
he probably went very peacefully. I know that all of this does not help much right now but Ushuaia needs you more than ever and she needs you to be upbeat to help keep her spirits up.
Marvin

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2943
02/06/02 09:46 AM
02/06/02 09:46 AM

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I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot help the pain you feel right now, just know we feel it with you and if we can help in any way, please let us know. Your baby didn't go in fear or terror or pain, as alot of them do. He was warm and next to the one he loved most, you and his mate. There is nothing to say that will take the guilt away, but please do not let it eat at you. This was an accident, and blaming yourself and agonizing over it will not bring him back, or help you or his mate, who needs you now more than ever. Again, I am so, so sorry. My crew send love and hugs to you. []images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/] <p>Bonzai <img src="graemlins/littleglider.gif" border="0" alt="glider" />
'n The Critter Crew

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2944
02/06/02 09:47 AM
02/06/02 09:47 AM

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I cannot tell you how sorry I am to read your post. I know how much you love your gliders and care carefully for them. Accidents do happen, and it wasn't your intention to hurt him.<p>I KNOW what it's like to directly cause the death of a glider, and I KNOW that these words from many people today won't help much. I also want you to know I understand that, and what you're going through right now. <p>I wish I could do something to help you get through this. You'll love Ushuaia and perhaps other gliders in the future. But there will never be another Spikes for you. He has that special place in your heart, which is, after all, what he wanted. <p>Thanks for posting this. I can't tell you how many times I almost drift off to sleep with them in their pouch on my stomach. I promise that in Spikes memory, to be especially careful from here on out.

Re: I killed him. [Re: Anonymous] #2945
02/06/02 10:03 AM
02/06/02 10:03 AM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 862
Saint Petersburg, FL
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 862
Saint Petersburg, FL
My dear friend ... what a heartbreaking story ... I cry with you. I know how much you care for your sugar gliders and freakish accidents happen, despite all the love and care you give. Please don't beat yourself up! Anyone who knows you knows it wasn't your fault! You are a great Dad. Spikes has merely taken a stroll on the flat rainbow.


Lisa and Arnold www.sugar-gliders.com
Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2946
02/06/02 12:13 PM
02/06/02 12:13 PM

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I know this must be hard for you. It's not really your fault. Accidents happen unfortunatly. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and hope to never make them again. I killed one of our kittens when I was 5, because I didn't know you couldn't pick them up by the tail. I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope you can get another buddy for your girl.

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2947
02/06/02 12:30 PM
02/06/02 12:30 PM

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So sorry to hear of your loss. It was an accident (I know that isn't much comfort right now), but hopefully a lot of people will learn from it. Thank you for having the courage to share your loss and give us the chance to help ease your pain.<p>Spikes is a <img src="graemlins/littleglider.gif" border="0" alt="glider" /> <img src="graemlins/frostyangel.gif" border="0" alt="angel" /> now and will be watching over you and Ushuaia until it is your turn to join him. He will always love you and will not blame you for this accident.

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2948
02/07/02 01:33 AM
02/07/02 01:33 AM

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I am so sorry too, not to just be repeating what everyone else is saying. It was a total accident and could happen to anyone. (I had Tuba in the pocket of my sweatpants once, was reading in my bed and accidently fell asleep. I woke up 2 hrs later to the phone and came *this* close to seriously squishing him. Luckily, the pocket in my sweatpants somehow twisted around and he didn't get hurt). Maybe they mated after all and you will have some of his little ones soon. Like I said, it was an accident. At least he passed away close to you, where he wanted to be. And he probably wasn't scared, or else he would have been yelling. He was probably sleeping as soundly as you were and felt very safe. Thank you for sharing this story, I think it's something we can all relate to. We are all here for you. <img src="graemlins/frostyangel.gif" border="0" alt="angel" />

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2949
02/06/02 03:11 PM
02/06/02 03:11 PM

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i am so sorry for your loss. while it may seem easy to blame yourself, you did not intentionally hurt your glider. accidents happen, and sometimes at a unimaginable price, but you have shared this with us, and we hav learned from it. if your glider loved you enought o snuggle up to you, he trusted you and im sure you glider understands that you love him to.

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2950
02/06/02 03:23 PM
02/06/02 03:23 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,088
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Ushuaia--My deepest sympathy and prayers are with you. I know this was an accident because I know you through your posts. You are one of the most caring and attentive owners I have seen at this forum. Aren't you the owner that was keeping track of their weights and recording them? Are you the owner that has posted poems before? If I have the right owner, you are the most caring and one of the most intelligent individuals I have come across in this community.
This was an accident. Unfortunately this does not bring you any comfort. Your intentions were well intended and with no thought of malice. It was an accident. It could have happened to any one of us. Do not stop this event from getting another glider. They need you! We need people like you in the glider community! This is a lesson tragically learned but through your loss you may have saved many gliders. You are smart, kind, and caring! If this could happen to you it makes any owner suseptible to tragic accidents. If this could happen to you, none of us are immune. This brings to light that no matter how smart, well prepared you are, accidents happen. By your posting of this accident, maybe some other owners out there will take head and more care.
You should write another poem and dedicate it to your little one. Then post it in "Glider Talk". This would be a great way to memorialize Spikes and help you work through your grief. I for one, would be interested in reading it.
Man, I am truly sorry! I will pray for you. I hope some comfort comes your way. Bad things sometimes happen to good people. This is one of those times! You will get through it and you have friends here that will help you with that. E-mail me if you need to vent or talk. My thoughts and prayers are with you!<p>John (Squirrelboy) (Rocky & Adrienne)

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2951
02/06/02 04:26 PM
02/06/02 04:26 PM

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Dancing Flames<p>Life so dear and precious,
Fleeeting swiftly by,
Tones and molds the spirits;
Through a babies gentle cry.<p>Time passes like an arrow,
Silent, swift, and fast.
Before you see it comming,
You turn to see it pass.<p>In the footsteps of a stanger,
We see the world a-new.
Like the filcker of a candle,
Our love danced and grew.<p>Then fate guides our spirit,
Through the journeys many ends,
To wake again together;
Surrounded by our friends.<p>Author: Ushuaia<p>In Memory of Spikes
Whose time had not yet come.<p>I have decided to donate Spikes body to my Zoology Professor, who will use it to educate the future Zoology and Pre-vet students. I know it is a rare occorance to have access to such an exotic animal intact and healthy. I feel this is what Spikes would want. He was so gentle and so kind it is hard to find forgivness from such an innocent and viberant companion as him. He died too short. He was my first rescue. I will honor him by continuing to take and care for other animals and educated the public about the dangers of carelessness and irresponsiblity. I pray that this will be the last glider to die due to neglagence. I know I will now be even more careful and protective. This should never and will never happen again. I am still planning on getting two more gliders from Lisa, if she will still sell me them. I mean after what I did. I am sorry.<p>Gliding Alone;
Ushuaia<p>[ 02-06-2002: Message edited by: Ushuaia ]</p>

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2952
02/06/02 04:43 PM
02/06/02 04:43 PM

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I feel your sadness and grief...Hopefully, something good will come out of something sooo tragic...Just maybe, little ones are on the way to carry on Spikes gentle personality...Here's hoping your broken <img src="graemlins/heartpump.gif" border="0" alt="heart" /> heals soon!<p>Sassie, Cassie, & "JJ" & I send our Love...

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2953
02/06/02 05:14 PM
02/06/02 05:14 PM

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oh my~ i am so so sorry. he loved you, and like somone else said, probualy didnt even feel anyhitng, just his mama. i knoe how terrible you must feel, and wanted you to know that noone here on GC thinks its your fault of thinks any less of you. i am truly sorry. i know from expirience that people saying how sorry they are dosent make you feel all better, but it can help. and i hope it does. i am sorry again []images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/]

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2954
02/06/02 05:54 PM
02/06/02 05:54 PM

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I can't speak for Lisa, but I feel like I know her well enough to know this -- the best tribute you can give a pet (or a person) is the willingness to love again. And among the best and most careful owners are those who have had an accident in the past. <p>I have mourned with you all day, because I know the shock and grief you feel. Please keep doing good things. What a great tribute to Spikes.

Re: I killed him. [Re: Anonymous] #2955
02/06/02 07:09 PM
02/06/02 07:09 PM

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Hi, I don't usually get on this part of the board. I avoid it because I cry. My Arrow has died of a hypoglycemic seizure that I keep thinking I should have caught in time and stopped before he was dead. He died in November 2000 and I still am not over it...I'm posting only because my husband, Oldcold58, told me what happened and I am only too familiar with you, Spikes, and Ushuaia and can really feel for your loss!!! <p>Now he is having the time of his life! Spikes has crossed that rainbow bridge and is playing with my Arrow and they are waiting for us until it is our time to come and join them! And Spikes is watching over you, just as my Arrow is watching over me and all my new little gliders!!!!!!!!!Don't give up the glider game of life because YOU are one I cannot forget who has always really cared and THE GLIDERS NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO CARE! You are a great Glider Parent and Don't You Forget That! and I look forward to hearing about your newbies that you want to get soon!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you as a Parent....so don't give up! And Love You too Spikes---Have fun up there playing with Arrow...........<p>Truly, Truly, Tessa~~~~~~~~ <img src="graemlins/littleglider.gif" border="0" alt="glider" /> <img src="graemlins/heartpump.gif" border="0" alt="heart" />

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2956
02/06/02 08:00 PM
02/06/02 08:00 PM

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I am so so sorry. I can't imagine how you are feeling. Try not to blame yourself and keep on loving your other animals in Spike's memory. <p>Alisha
Pheobe <img src="graemlins/littleglider.gif" border="0" alt="glider" /> and Napoleon <img src="graemlins/littleglider.gif" border="0" alt="glider" />

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2957
02/06/02 08:59 PM
02/06/02 08:59 PM

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To Err. is human, You must forgive yourself. Accidents are just that, we don't plan them, they just happen. We learn from them and try not repeat them. Bless you. <p> <img src="graemlins/heartpump.gif" border="0" alt="heart" /> them <img src="graemlins/littleglider.gif" border="0" alt="glider" /> 's

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2958
02/06/02 09:00 PM
02/06/02 09:00 PM

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I am so sorry. I know there isn't anything to say to make you feel better right now. You will be in my prayers tonight....<p>Melinda & Micah <img src="graemlins/littleglider.gif" border="0" alt="glider" />

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2959
02/06/02 10:36 PM
02/06/02 10:36 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 2,242
Willard, Mo. USA
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Posts: 2,242
Willard, Mo. USA
I can imagine your Spike and my Sneakers playing at the Rainbow Bridge, waiting for us to meet them again.


Kathy
God Bless America
RIP Sneakers\Abby\Pepe\Missy/Shelby/Buddy
Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2960
02/06/02 10:55 PM
02/06/02 10:55 PM

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I am so very sorry for you. When I was 13 I did the same thing to a baby oppossum that had been abandoned by it's mother. It crawled to me during the night and it died beneath me. I will always feel guilty about it. But it was an accident, just as yours was. Again, I am sorry about your loss.

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2961
02/06/02 11:17 PM
02/06/02 11:17 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 862
Saint Petersburg, FL
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Posts: 862
Saint Petersburg, FL
Christopher, I would trust you with each and every single animal I know. I look forward to talking with you soon and I can't imagine that a single soul would think less of you as an animal lover behind what has happened. Any of us that puts ourselves out there with the other living things on this earth is going to have heart breaking experiences. I almost find it prophetic that you shared the rainbow story with me last week, and that you witnessed such nature's beauty ... I personally believe in fate and I also believe that what is on the other side could very well be much more beautiful than what is here. Your poem is beautiful, and although we have not met, I see you as a beautiful and warm and loving person. You are a gift to us all. Any living soul would be blessed to have time on this earth with you! And I sincerely mean that from the bottom of my heart.<p>Lisa<p>[ 02-06-2002: Message edited by: Viva La Glider ]</p>


Lisa and Arnold www.sugar-gliders.com
Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2962
02/07/02 03:53 AM
02/07/02 03:53 AM

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I can express my sympathy, and tell you how sorry I am, ( which I am, and I hope you can find your way thru this difficult time)but, also, you are doing a wonderful thing here. Out of a horrible accident, you are doing some good. Your donation of his little body may allow new discoveries of glider health and anatomy. It will definitely contribute to what is already out there. I have lost my share of animals, I once threw away a hamster because I thought he was dead, I later found out hamsters hibernate! Boy, I felt horrible. I think I cried for several weeks. I lost another when I (like a real, true, dummy) put them in a paper sack to take to my inlaws and they were hamster sitting for a bit. They got out and we later found one that had fallen down in a bucket, all that was left was a little tuft of fur. Boy did I feel horrible! Ushuaia, give that little girl of yours lots of love and attention. As has already be mentioned, maybe she is pregnant and will give you some precious babies from your precious boy! In the meantime, try and look at the good that can come of this. (donating his body for study, warning/wakeup call about sleeping w/gliders) I know it's hard, but there is some. You are a wonderful glider parent! Accidents happen and we have to go on, in spite of the pain. Ushuaia needs you now. Especially is she is pregnant. (fingers crossed!) You will be in my prayers for peace and to forgive yourself. Spikes already has forgiven you and so has Ushuaia, none of us see anything to forgive, so, now the hard part is to forgive yourself. You have too much to offer to the animal community. I am glad to hear you are going ahead with your planned babies. Good Luck, and thanks so much for sharing such a difficult post.

Take care and hugs from Gizmo, Puter, Miss Aries and Me!
Oh, Shaba and Pal saw me crying and when I explained they sent you doggie hugs and kisses!<p>Chey
<img src="graemlins/frostyangel.gif" border="0" alt="angel" />

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2963
02/07/02 06:32 AM
02/07/02 06:32 AM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,088
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Ushuaia--An excellent memorial for an beloved pet. Your poems are both emotionally stimulating and thought provoking. I think the act of donating the body of the glider for research and teaching purposes will go a long way in helping other gliders and an overwhelming tribute to our dear departed friend. Surely Spike's death will not be in vain. He will live on because the knowledge gained by his contribution will have a synergistic effect as that knowledge is put into practice. This was truly a selfless act. I am also delighted in the fact that you will be getting more gliders. As I said before, they do need you! Do not forget this. You had a poem posted back in January about pet ownership. I had e-mailed you on this and requested a copy because it touched me deeply. If you could send me a copy or repost it for the benefit of all, it would be greatly appreciated. Take your time to mourn first. When you are ready, post it because the board was kind of slow during that period and I feel everyone would not only enjoy it but benefit from it's beauty. I tried loooking it up for myself and could not find it. You are truly a gifted poet!
Just one more thought. You said Spikesand Ushuaia were mating. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Ushuaia was pregnant! I had thought about that possibility and thought it might give you something to consider.<p>John (Squirrelboy) (Rocky & Adrienne)<p>[ 02-07-2002: Message edited by: PepPony ]</p>

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2964
02/07/02 11:48 AM
02/07/02 11:48 AM

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[]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/] []images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/] Ohh my I just do not know what to say except that everyone here feels your lose and are sharing in your greif... You are amoung friends so never feel you are going this alone...Im sure all of us animal lovers at one time or another have lost a dear pet to an unforseen accident...I know I have..... But people who love with their whole <img src="graemlins/heartpump.gif" border="0" alt="heart" /> go on to love in spite of this tradigy!!! You will never forget but you need to forgive yourself as we all have!!! My prawyers are with you.... <img src="graemlins/frostyangel.gif" border="0" alt="angel" />

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2965
02/17/02 03:50 AM
02/17/02 03:50 AM

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I am so sorry about your loss, i know what you're going thru. I've lost many animals in my lifetime, and i always blame myself for their death, no matter how it happened. But thru a lot of counseling by my friends, i have finally discovered that no matter how young my animals have died, i have made their life as good as possible, so there should be no regrets. You made Spike's life complete; he was loved and well cared for, and that is all that matters. You are an amazing person, and my prayers will be with you.

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2966
02/20/02 03:04 PM
02/20/02 03:04 PM

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I have to say, I cried when I read your terrible loss. It broke my heart. I am so sorry.

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2967
02/24/02 01:00 AM
02/24/02 01:00 AM

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I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, I can honestly say I know how you feel. We never forget.

Re: I killed him. [Re: ] #2968
02/27/02 01:12 AM
02/27/02 01:12 AM

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I am extremely sorry for your loss. He knows that you did not mean to hurt him. Don't be so hard on yourself. Cheer up soon.


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