Posted By: AliceDoll
Long Post ahead -- Getting over being scared? - 08/27/11 05:00 PM
I'm a firm believer now, that no matter how much research/planning/bourboning you do, that one will never be fully ready/prepared to deal with their first glider -- especially when one has never had a pet before.
I got my darling little girl yesterday. The whole ordeal of having her shipped, was a complete mess. When I went to go open the crate, to put her into a pouch -- I had never seen such a scared animal. I was so worried about her -- and got so scared when she started to lunge. Instead of grabbing her and putting her away, I closed the crate box, and just sat it in my lap.
I tell myself "give her time to adjust, give her time to adjust" -- We drive an hour home -- and try again. This time she was a lot calmer, but still really crabbing and angry. I was so scared, litterally to the point where I was shaking. If it wasn't for my friend, I don't know what I would have done. She held the blankets she was in, and I kind of half scooped/guided her to the new pouch, and promptly put it in the cage.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken. The little angel I was coming to love so much, and was so ready for looked and sounded as if she hated me. I know this isn't the case -- everything is new, and scary -- heck, I'd be like that too if it were me. However, some part of me still felt that it'd be pretty much 'puppy syndrome' that she would look at me and see how much I love her and instantly crawl into my boob or something. I KNEW that would never ever be the case, but coming from someone who has never had a personal pet before -- someone I could claim as my own, it really was a heartbreaking moment for me.
And because I'm a pansy, I was content to let her be -- probably until forever (at this point I think I'm more scared of her than she is of me, literally) My friend (god bless her) came over that night to help me calm down -- she said essentially that I needed to 'grow a pair' and just look at her.
First thing Minnie did as the cage door opened was head into her pouch, rightly so, I begged and begged Rachel to leave her alone -- but she took her out anyway and gave me the pouch.As soon as Minnie saw me, she started crabbing, and I started crying. Rachel just glares at me and tells me to talk to her. And so I did -- for well over an hour. I told her everything I was feeling -- she didn't crab once, while I was talking. If I stopped to wipe my nose or blow it, she'd start again. As soon as I started talking again, it stopped. I told her everything I was feeling, how much I loved her, how sorry I was for scaring her, how thankful I am to have her in my life, how beautiful I thought she was, how I'm so sorry the airport trip was rough.
I felt so pathetic, and embarrassed, being so emotional -- and especially in front of my friend, but it was just so nice to see her look at me and not crab.
She eventually, I guess, got tired of looking at me, and turned her back to me. I took a chance and pet her a little bit on the inside. She didn't even seem to notice -- she was so soft. I had no idea how soft gliders could be. As soon as she'd see me though, it almost looked like she was glaring, would crab, and I'd back off. Once she turned away, I could pet her again. After a while, I put her back in her cage.
Rachel suggested turning the lights off, and just sitting in the room talking. I guess Minnie got bored of being in the pouch, because she came out and was exploring everything. As soon as I made any kind of movement, she'd stop and stare -- ready and alert. Not crabbing or anything, but her eyes were wide and ears were up -- she looked kinda like a tiger ready to pounce, I guess. We just kept acting like we normally would, walking in and out of the room, moving around, talking -- eventually she'd just ignore us.
When Rachel left, I just talked to Minnie through the cage bars. She'd look at me, half of the times looking like she's glaring, other times like "what the heck is wrong with this lady?". Eventually she decided the wheel was much more interesting than I was. I went to put my fingers against the bars, she'd run. I did it slower the next time, letting her watch my hand the entire time. I just wanted her to see that I wasn't going to hurt her. I did it like 20 times, I think, letting her watch my hands go to the cage with a yogie between my thumb and finger -- eventually she very very very tentatively came up to the bars and quickly took the treat from me.
Let me tell you, I was so happy I could have started crying again (I'd did, and I know it's pathetic). I was able to do it a few more times, in the same spot -- I tried for other spots -- and she was more skitterish, but by repeating the same motion, she eventually took it.
I thought to myself, maybe, maybe I can actually do this. Maybe she can get past being scared of me, and me being scared of her. I decided, once she was fine with me putting my fingers on the bars, to put my hand in the cage. I prayed "please don't let this be to fast, please, please, please". I was really scared of undoing the slow progress I had made, but Rachel was right when she said I had to get over my fear.
Minnie was way more interested with the wheel than with my hand, but I was able to play with her a little, without her crabbing up a storm -- not even a peep was heard from her. I had yogies in my palm, and a little bit of the LGRS on my other finger. She'd let me giver her treasure chests with treats in them. I was so proud at how smart she was. I was able to pet her a little (granted she'd kind scoot around me most of the time, but I'm willing to take ANYTHING over how we were when I first picked her up)
By 3:30 in the morning, I was exhausted. My knees have bruises on them from how still I was trying to sit for all those hours.
I talked to her one last time, she looked at me briefly and went back to running. I went to bed. It was hard to get to sleep at first. It was like I had this perpetual checklist, that I had to go over in my head. Did I lock the door? Did I go to fast? Was there enough water? Does she have enough things to play with? Can I make her and myself happy?
I woke up at 6am, first. I looked over to the cage -- let me tell you, she must have had a party or something, because all her toys were lying everywhere, her tunnel was half off, her pouch just hanging by one hook. I got up, and started to just put things back together, quietly -- I didn't want to wake her up.
She did though, and shot out of that pouch like a bat out of [censored]. Again she looked frightened, but I stopped moving, and told her good morning and what I was going to do. I just slowly placed things back as they were -- when I was going to do her pouch, she did this quick like squeal crab noise (I had never heard it before) but stopped quickly. I just opened the pouch for her, she went in, and hung it back properly on the cage. What was weird was that as soon as I did, she started crabbing. I pet her gently through the pouch "crab'crab'crab'crab'crab'. I didn't stop though, I'm sure that my petting was so soft she probably couldn't feel it anymore, but she stopped crabbing and I just closed the door and went to bed.
Now I'm awake. All my courage from last night has seemed to dissipate. My self-doubt is coming back. I look at her cage, and all I can think about is "Oh god, what do I do from here?"
Everyone I've talked to and everything I've read said to give her a few days to adjust before trying ANYTHING. But I feel like yesterday went so well, that maybe she and I made some progress -- that maybe I made some progress.
The breeder said, after a few days, to take her out of the pouch and put her on me, even if she crabbs or lunges -- and just hold her against my heart. I want to so badly, but I'm scared of breaking this slow progress (if it even is progress) I made. Even though she wouldn't let me hold her in the cage last night, I got to play with her, touch her a little, watch her, without her being scared of me.
I don't want to move too fast, or too slow. I don't WANT to be scared anymore -- or her to be scared of me?
I'm not quite sure, what this post really is supposed to be about. I feel like I need advice, or a friend, with someone who understands where I'm coming from. The last pet I had I was six. I sat on him, and was traumatized pretty much until now, at 21 years old. It was an accident, and I wasn't one of those mean spirited kids either or anything, I loved that bird more than anything. I feel like, even though I've researched, and stalked all of bourbon's and everyone else's posts -- I'm at a complete loss as to where to go and what to do!
Do I take her out, like her breeder suggested? Or do I just leave her alone, maybe hold the outside of the pouch? Am I going too slow, too fast?
Everyone has been so kind to me on here. Not once has anyone snarked or lost patience with me, even though I'm sure I asked the same questions that show up on here ALL the time. Please, please, please let me borrow a bit more of your kindness. The advice from someone who can understand me and where I'm coming from would be the greatest gift in the world right now.
Thankyou
I got my darling little girl yesterday. The whole ordeal of having her shipped, was a complete mess. When I went to go open the crate, to put her into a pouch -- I had never seen such a scared animal. I was so worried about her -- and got so scared when she started to lunge. Instead of grabbing her and putting her away, I closed the crate box, and just sat it in my lap.
I tell myself "give her time to adjust, give her time to adjust" -- We drive an hour home -- and try again. This time she was a lot calmer, but still really crabbing and angry. I was so scared, litterally to the point where I was shaking. If it wasn't for my friend, I don't know what I would have done. She held the blankets she was in, and I kind of half scooped/guided her to the new pouch, and promptly put it in the cage.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken. The little angel I was coming to love so much, and was so ready for looked and sounded as if she hated me. I know this isn't the case -- everything is new, and scary -- heck, I'd be like that too if it were me. However, some part of me still felt that it'd be pretty much 'puppy syndrome' that she would look at me and see how much I love her and instantly crawl into my boob or something. I KNEW that would never ever be the case, but coming from someone who has never had a personal pet before -- someone I could claim as my own, it really was a heartbreaking moment for me.
And because I'm a pansy, I was content to let her be -- probably until forever (at this point I think I'm more scared of her than she is of me, literally) My friend (god bless her) came over that night to help me calm down -- she said essentially that I needed to 'grow a pair' and just look at her.
First thing Minnie did as the cage door opened was head into her pouch, rightly so, I begged and begged Rachel to leave her alone -- but she took her out anyway and gave me the pouch.As soon as Minnie saw me, she started crabbing, and I started crying. Rachel just glares at me and tells me to talk to her. And so I did -- for well over an hour. I told her everything I was feeling -- she didn't crab once, while I was talking. If I stopped to wipe my nose or blow it, she'd start again. As soon as I started talking again, it stopped. I told her everything I was feeling, how much I loved her, how sorry I was for scaring her, how thankful I am to have her in my life, how beautiful I thought she was, how I'm so sorry the airport trip was rough.
I felt so pathetic, and embarrassed, being so emotional -- and especially in front of my friend, but it was just so nice to see her look at me and not crab.
She eventually, I guess, got tired of looking at me, and turned her back to me. I took a chance and pet her a little bit on the inside. She didn't even seem to notice -- she was so soft. I had no idea how soft gliders could be. As soon as she'd see me though, it almost looked like she was glaring, would crab, and I'd back off. Once she turned away, I could pet her again. After a while, I put her back in her cage.
Rachel suggested turning the lights off, and just sitting in the room talking. I guess Minnie got bored of being in the pouch, because she came out and was exploring everything. As soon as I made any kind of movement, she'd stop and stare -- ready and alert. Not crabbing or anything, but her eyes were wide and ears were up -- she looked kinda like a tiger ready to pounce, I guess. We just kept acting like we normally would, walking in and out of the room, moving around, talking -- eventually she'd just ignore us.
When Rachel left, I just talked to Minnie through the cage bars. She'd look at me, half of the times looking like she's glaring, other times like "what the heck is wrong with this lady?". Eventually she decided the wheel was much more interesting than I was. I went to put my fingers against the bars, she'd run. I did it slower the next time, letting her watch my hand the entire time. I just wanted her to see that I wasn't going to hurt her. I did it like 20 times, I think, letting her watch my hands go to the cage with a yogie between my thumb and finger -- eventually she very very very tentatively came up to the bars and quickly took the treat from me.
Let me tell you, I was so happy I could have started crying again (I'd did, and I know it's pathetic). I was able to do it a few more times, in the same spot -- I tried for other spots -- and she was more skitterish, but by repeating the same motion, she eventually took it.
I thought to myself, maybe, maybe I can actually do this. Maybe she can get past being scared of me, and me being scared of her. I decided, once she was fine with me putting my fingers on the bars, to put my hand in the cage. I prayed "please don't let this be to fast, please, please, please". I was really scared of undoing the slow progress I had made, but Rachel was right when she said I had to get over my fear.
Minnie was way more interested with the wheel than with my hand, but I was able to play with her a little, without her crabbing up a storm -- not even a peep was heard from her. I had yogies in my palm, and a little bit of the LGRS on my other finger. She'd let me giver her treasure chests with treats in them. I was so proud at how smart she was. I was able to pet her a little (granted she'd kind scoot around me most of the time, but I'm willing to take ANYTHING over how we were when I first picked her up)
By 3:30 in the morning, I was exhausted. My knees have bruises on them from how still I was trying to sit for all those hours.
I talked to her one last time, she looked at me briefly and went back to running. I went to bed. It was hard to get to sleep at first. It was like I had this perpetual checklist, that I had to go over in my head. Did I lock the door? Did I go to fast? Was there enough water? Does she have enough things to play with? Can I make her and myself happy?
I woke up at 6am, first. I looked over to the cage -- let me tell you, she must have had a party or something, because all her toys were lying everywhere, her tunnel was half off, her pouch just hanging by one hook. I got up, and started to just put things back together, quietly -- I didn't want to wake her up.
She did though, and shot out of that pouch like a bat out of [censored]. Again she looked frightened, but I stopped moving, and told her good morning and what I was going to do. I just slowly placed things back as they were -- when I was going to do her pouch, she did this quick like squeal crab noise (I had never heard it before) but stopped quickly. I just opened the pouch for her, she went in, and hung it back properly on the cage. What was weird was that as soon as I did, she started crabbing. I pet her gently through the pouch "crab'crab'crab'crab'crab'. I didn't stop though, I'm sure that my petting was so soft she probably couldn't feel it anymore, but she stopped crabbing and I just closed the door and went to bed.
Now I'm awake. All my courage from last night has seemed to dissipate. My self-doubt is coming back. I look at her cage, and all I can think about is "Oh god, what do I do from here?"
Everyone I've talked to and everything I've read said to give her a few days to adjust before trying ANYTHING. But I feel like yesterday went so well, that maybe she and I made some progress -- that maybe I made some progress.
The breeder said, after a few days, to take her out of the pouch and put her on me, even if she crabbs or lunges -- and just hold her against my heart. I want to so badly, but I'm scared of breaking this slow progress (if it even is progress) I made. Even though she wouldn't let me hold her in the cage last night, I got to play with her, touch her a little, watch her, without her being scared of me.
I don't want to move too fast, or too slow. I don't WANT to be scared anymore -- or her to be scared of me?
I'm not quite sure, what this post really is supposed to be about. I feel like I need advice, or a friend, with someone who understands where I'm coming from. The last pet I had I was six. I sat on him, and was traumatized pretty much until now, at 21 years old. It was an accident, and I wasn't one of those mean spirited kids either or anything, I loved that bird more than anything. I feel like, even though I've researched, and stalked all of bourbon's and everyone else's posts -- I'm at a complete loss as to where to go and what to do!
Do I take her out, like her breeder suggested? Or do I just leave her alone, maybe hold the outside of the pouch? Am I going too slow, too fast?
Everyone has been so kind to me on here. Not once has anyone snarked or lost patience with me, even though I'm sure I asked the same questions that show up on here ALL the time. Please, please, please let me borrow a bit more of your kindness. The advice from someone who can understand me and where I'm coming from would be the greatest gift in the world right now.
Thankyou