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We are in mourning, question about sg left behind

Posted By: Anonymous

We are in mourning, question about sg left behind - 01/05/09 04:08 AM

First I'd like to say thank you for this board. I have always lurked on here for advice, but tonight I have a serious question so have decided to register.

We have (had) two beautiful male sugar gliders 2-3 years old "Eastwood and Westwood". Tonight my daughter and I returned from a two week vacation. As usual, my roommate was to care for the sugar gliders while we were gone.... just checking on food and water. She "forgot" and when we returned home they were severely dehydrated. I could get Westwood to eat a grape but Eastwood was too far gone. We rushed him to the emergency clinic but he passed away after several hours.

I got Eastwood when he was about 1 years old. He had not bonded to anyone and I had some trouble getting him to completely bond to me. I attributed it to too long in a pet store. Six months later, I encountered a local woman who felt her 8 month old was too hyper and so I inherited who we renamed Westwood. They successfully bonded and Westwood especially would not let Eastwood leave his sight.

Now that Eastwood is gone.... how do I handle Westwood? Would it be best to get another sugar glider or give him to a home that has other sugar gliders? Do you recommend an older or younger glider to pair him with? Or do you think I could try it alone and work with him to keep the depression from settling in? (I had a sg several years ago that died from depression and it was really hard on me)

I am worried sick nursing Westwood back to health tonight but at the same time worried that even if he gets healthy that he will die from mourning.

His temperament is a little hyper but he is also tends to be very shy around those he doesn't know. He always let Eastwood take the risks and then followed if Eastwood decided it was safe.
Posted By: ozzi

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left behind - 01/05/09 04:25 AM

I am sorry, I had to take a minute before I posted as I am tant tant tant about the room mate "Forgetting" about your gliders. I am so sorry you lost Eastwood upset
Did Westwood get to have "Closure" with Eastwood, seeing the body (sorry to be so direct)to realize what has happened. I believe this helps in the mourning process with gliders.
I believe Westwood will need a new friend, but for now a lot of extra love and attention. I hope he does alright and you can get him bask to good health again.
This is so tragic...

I am sure someone else will be along soon for any further advice.

Pat
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left behind - 01/05/09 04:37 AM

Thank you for your reply. You bring up a good point about his "closure". He saw Eastwood very, very sick, but he was also sick himself. We are picking up Eastwood's body tomorrow morning to give him a proper funeral. Do you think that I should let Westwood see Eastwood? He is still so sick himself I am worried that it will affect his recovery, but at the same time you have a very valid point. Animals are much more understanding than we are of death and it could help him have his closure.

Side note: I have been reading a similar thread and I am more confused than ever about getting another cagemate.
Posted By: jacknsally

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 04:39 AM

Oh my I'm so sorry you had to come home to that. Right now your focus should just be on Westwood- nurse him back to health and then see how he is handling the loss of Eastwood. It may be a little bumpy with his recovery with such severity with dehydration. Once he's back to a full recovery from the dehydration, I'd see how he is handling the loss of Eastwood. He may just need you or he may be open to another friend. Unfortunetly you won't know either till he starts to mourn the loss.
Posted By: ozzi

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left behind - 01/05/09 04:45 AM

I am not the expert but I know the cage mate thing can be tricky. If Westwood is neutered a female would probably be more readily accepted. You will have to follow the quarantine thing initially. There seem to be a lot of glider owners in TX that might be able to help you in getting another one, or provide you with more info.

I would let him see the body. I had to do it and it killed me to do it but I really think it helped my 2 boys understand why Lucy was gone.

This is so heart wrenching upset

Pat
Posted By: BindiAndScrubbie

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 04:46 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't want to give advice here as I am sure others will be along more experienced. I do hope your roomate knows the ramifications of what her absent mindedness has caused. Sorry, I'm with Pat. I was pretty angered reading about her 'forgetting'.

I hope the best for you and Westwood.
Posted By: josefine

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 05:02 AM

the nite my little sissie passed, i was just beside myself in grief, since i tried so hard to keep her alive.
i called linda from ks, & she suggested i put cosmos in w/her, so that he can see what had happened & get closure.
i did do this, & it was so heartwrenching to see cosmos go over to sissie, sit there, look @ her, & then it was like he wanted to wake her up, by touching her. by the time i had hung up from linda, i cried so hard i thought i was going to throwup. so heartwrenching(& i know there are many more like me out there). i picked cosmos up, & cuddled him for the longest time. he was still very weak & sick. to comfort him(i was hoping anyway)i put a tiny little colorful stuffed toy in w/him to sleep w/during the day. @ nite, we could see him 'clutching' @ his little toy. so, i thought i did good to think of that.
talk @ ya L8R
josefine
Posted By: ScootersPet

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 05:44 AM

First off, i am so very sorry for your loss, I know simple words don't help much, but it is coming from the heart, from everyone..
Originally Posted By: txsugargliders
Would it be best to get another sugar glider or give him to a home that has other sugar gliders? Do you recommend an older or younger glider to pair him with? Or do you think I could try it alone and work with him to keep the depression from settling in? (I had a sg several years ago that died from depression and it was really hard on me)


Think of it this way. Poor little Westwood just lost his best friend. And giving him to another home would cause him to lose his human who he loves and trusts. It would be a double whammy to give him away.

Get him healthy, and give him, and you, time to mourn the loss. Then you can start thinking about getting another. I also think that (if he is neutered) a female would be your best bet for smooth introductions.

Take your time hug2
Posted By: Cora

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 05:53 AM

so sorry ((((hugs))))
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 02:12 PM

Thank you all for your kind words. Last night I had moved Westwood into a smaller cage so I could keep an eye on him. He has a lot more energy and is finally eating well. This morning my daughter and I picked up Eastwood's body. I took your advice and showed it to Westwood. It was very sad. He held onto Eastwood for a long time nuzzling his neck.

After a long time when I realized Westwood was not going to let him go, I finally pried the body from his grip. Westwood will not come to me, but is allowing me to pet him. Since he pretty much just followed wherever Eastwood went, Westwood never paid much attention to me. Now, he looks up at me like "who are you?" and is taking a curiosity to me that he never took before.

He has not gone to bed yet and I am pretty sure he is avoiding the hammock that smells like his friend, so I am going to put him in a fresh pouch and keep him close to me.

I like the idea of a stuffed animal so I am going to search my daughter's room and find something suitable. My thought is to put it in the box with Eastwood's body for a few hours to let the scent transfer.

Westwood is not neutered so if I get another, it will have to be male, but after this morning, I am encouraged that he may take to me after all and I may not need to get another. You all are right... time will tell.
Posted By: ozzi

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 02:31 PM

Heartbreaking, heartbreaking, heartbreaking...

Unless Westwood is Neutered he can not go with a new male unless there is not a female anywhere around and even then...
Was Eastwood neutered?

Just keep giving him lot's of L heart VE

Pat
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 02:48 PM

No, neither were neutered. There are no females anywhere around.

Originally when I got Westwood, I had a plan in place to introduce them and then slowly work them into the same cage, but they were best friends upon first sight. They never fought and Eastwood welcomed him into his home with open arms. I even put both their hammocks in the cage in case they wanted to stick to their familiar smells, but they happily tromped off to the same hammock the very first morning.

This may be a silly question, but this is the first time I'm hearing that two un-neutered males can't be together. I did a quick search but didn't find an answer, can someone answer why?
Posted By: gliderma

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 03:03 PM

I believe they would fight for dominance, but that is usually around a female.
Posted By: ozzi

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 03:04 PM

From what I have seen, intact males will fight BAD, at least if there is a female anywhere in the mix. I am sure there are people here that will tell you they have 2 intact males together that are doing fine together.
I Hope they will be along....

Pat
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 03:19 PM

Ah... that makes sense. Thank you for the quick replies. Westwood is such a sweet, shy glider, though really really hyper so he was a great match for my hyper Eastwood. I have never even heard Westwood crab. He did however go through a barking stage where I discovered he is afraid of complete darkness. Now they... sorry HE has a nightlight close to his cage.
Posted By: KimeyDiann

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 03:25 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.
I have to leave my two suggie babies with a friend sometimes and I'm always so worried that something will happen while I'm not there. I text or call every night to check on them while I'm away, but I still worry constantly. I can imagine what you are going through. Stay strong and help your little Westwood begin to heal.
hug2
Posted By: ozzi

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 03:29 PM

Ah, for the love of our gliders... heart

Anything we can do let us know.....Pat
Posted By: jacknsally

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 03:41 PM

Originally Posted By: txsugargliders


I like the idea of a stuffed animal so I am going to search my daughter's room and find something suitable. My thought is to put it in the box with Eastwood's body for a few hours to let the scent transfer.



I use the small Ty beanie babies- they had them in happy meals quite a while ago or you can still get some at Hallmark- they are perfect, same size as a glider and all my singles have always snuggled up with them.

Posted By: jacknsally

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 03:45 PM

Originally Posted By: txsugargliders

This may be a silly question, but this is the first time I'm hearing that two un-neutered males can't be together. I did a quick search but didn't find an answer, can someone answer why?



Intact males can be together. It's not guaranteed they won't fight- you don't have that guarantee with any gliders. If there's no female in the group there is usually no dominance issues. It's a very slim chance that one male will sexually dominate the other but many people have had intact males together with no issues. You've had your boys together and they did fine- it would be ok to try again, I would just go with a younger male than Westwood.
Posted By: BindiAndScrubbie

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 05:26 PM

OMG reading about this morning's closure made me cry. I can't bear to even think about that day that will certainly lie ahead. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. Poor little Westwood.
Posted By: minkasmom

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 05:28 PM

I add my tears and extension of sympathies to you on the loss of your little guy....and my ANGER about your "forgetful" roomie. (completely OT, I heard of a turtle having been FROZEN SOLID in their habitat during the recent ice storms here in Indiana...it just SICKENS ME almost beyond words.)

Moving on to Westwood: Yes, he is probably looking to you in a whole new light (being FORCED to realize that you even exist, if you will). And I think that starting things rolling TODAY to acquire a new buddy for him would be a good thing...considering that you would need this buddy to go through the quarantine process & all...and I'm hingeing my opinion on ONE THING that you posted: that you almost had to pry him loose from Eastwood. You might say that it's "not fair" to Eastwood's memory to try & replace him so soon...I will respectfully disagree (having been there only once before with one of my own): You can be a lot of things to a suggie, but you CANNOT crawl into their pouch & snuggle with them while they sleep. You can groom your little guy, but I will look at you VERY STRANGELY if you do it with your tongue! roflmao (hope that made you smile a little)

Honestly, I'd start a search today, RIGHT NOW. For Westwood's sake. Love him, carry him in a bonding pouch, continue to nurse him to health.....but through your tears, start your search. hug2
Posted By: BindiAndScrubbie

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 05:36 PM

And ps...please still keep us up to date as things progress as I am sure now we are all equally concerned for you both.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 08:30 PM

Originally Posted By: minkasmom
And I think that starting things rolling TODAY to acquire a new buddy for him would be a good thing...considering that you would need this buddy to go through the quarantine process & all...and I'm hingeing my opinion on ONE THING that you posted: that you almost had to pry him loose from Eastwood. You might say that it's "not fair" to Eastwood's memory to try & replace him so soon...I will respectfully disagree (having been there only once before with one of my own): You can be a lot of things to a suggie, but you CANNOT crawl into their pouch & snuggle with them while they sleep. You can groom your little guy, but I will look at you VERY STRANGELY if you do it with your tongue! roflmao (hope that made you smile a little)

Honestly, I'd start a search today, RIGHT NOW. For Westwood's sake. Love him, carry him in a bonding pouch, continue to nurse him to health.....but through your tears, start your search. hug2


Thank you for your post and I took what you said to heart and did indeed laugh about the "licking". I am kind of at a loss as to where to begin. Every sugar glider I've ever had was a "lost cause". My first few were from newspaper ads of families who tried it and it didn't work for them. I found that I was pretty good at working with them with the exception of one that died from depression. I found them great homes when I had to move and they are thriving still today.

Once I got settled here, I had no intention of starting back up with sugar gliders but then I found Eastwood. He was a pet shop leftover. I went in to pick up some other stuff and he looked at me and it was love at first sight. He was older and not likely to be adopted. He was also a little traumatized from being in the "pet shop" scene for almost a year. I had gone to the store on my lunch break and came back to the office with a sugar glider in pocket smile

Westwood was from a woman who felt he was too hyper. I overheard her while she was trying to sell him back to a different pet shop after having him for almost a year.

I think that I am understanding from the posts that a younger sugar glider might work better. Can anyone PM me with recommendations on where to get one from a reputable breeder in my area? I think personality will play a lot into what is right for Westwood. Also, I've been unemployed for 8 months so I am pretty price restricted, but I know I would give up whatever I could to find the right sugar glider to help Westwood through this.
Posted By: ValkyrieMome

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/05/09 09:02 PM

I'm so sorry for this tragedy.

I hope your roommate has a full understanding of her responsibility in this loss.

I think *she* should be put in charge of licking Westwood! Or ... worse.

There are TONS of gliders in Texas who have been rescued and need good homes. I'm sure someone here can help you find one. Hugs to you, your daughter and Westwood.
Posted By: ozzi

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/06/09 06:35 PM

HI,
Just wondering how you and Westwood are doing?

Pat
Posted By: USMom

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/07/09 02:34 AM

TX, I am here in Austin, and am willing to talk to you and help you out. I have rescues, and access to other rescues, too. Give me a call, 512-636-1847. There are bunches of people gathering here in about 4 weeks, so you could get gliders from just about anywhere.

Westwood will grieve, some gliders do much longer than others. He may not be ready for a new mate yet, but could be soon. You will have to judge that.

Let me know how Westwood is doing, and if you need help with nursing him back to health.
Posted By: Feather

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/07/09 02:37 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. May your memories of little Eastwood comfort you in the days to come.

Please smack your room mate upside the head for me. Now I know why I pack all my critters if I go anywhere for more than a day.

Condolences,
Posted By: CSteele

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/07/09 02:56 AM

I am so sorry for your loss frown
Posted By: mattysmom

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/07/09 03:21 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about Eastwood and hope you can find Westwood a new friend soon. So much depends on personality, but I have several pairs of intact male gliders, mostly brothers but one pair of unrelated males who have been together 4 years and never fuss even though there are female gliders in the room. So it's not impossible for Westwood to bond with a male glider. I was thinking the glider would need to be grown but maybe he'd be gentle with a young one. I've not tried it so I'm just thinking out loud. I'd put pieces of cloth in the pouch to save some of Eastwood's familiar scent to hopefully transfer to a new glider - in other words, rather than swap pouches (with Westwood missing his nest in addition to Eastwood), just put the pieces of cloth in the new glider's pouch and transfer those so Westwood can get familiar with a new scent. What a sad story.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/13/09 04:55 AM

Thank you everyone for your support. Westwood is doing well. I've carried him around for days now in Eastwood's pouch and although he is definitely not the same, he is making the adjustment. I let him roam a little last night in my room and he it looked like he was searching for his friend, after awhile he came over and sat with me for a while. It is strange to go through a bonding process with a sg I've had for so long, but like I said before, up until now, he really didn't pay much attention to me.

He is such a sweet boy. I think I misjudged his personality before. Since the woman who had him before described him as overactive and he definitely was hyped up around Eastwood, he never had a chance to show me what a calm, sweet sg he can be.

I am a little concerned that his being so docile might be some depression, but in the meantime it is helping us bond better.

I will be actively searching for a new glider and will definitely give Shawna a call tomorrow. The downside is that the vet is concerned about longterm organ damage from the dehydration that Westwood experienced. At first I was concerned about getting another sg if Westwood's future was uncertain. Since he is doing much better, even though it doesn't rule out a shorter lifespan for him, I plan to get him a buddy soon.

On the plus side, my roommate finally apologized. I think I failed to mention that she is only 15. She lives here with her dad. Through the advice of a friend, I sat her down and explained that she owed my daughter and I an apology and that her actions caused an innocent animal to die.

One final thing is that I have the highest praises for the all night emergency vet clinic in North Austin (oak knoll & 183). They were prompt to take him in front of other animals, and the vet was very compassionate throughout the entire process.
Posted By: BindiAndScrubbie

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 01/13/09 05:15 AM

Finally? She should have apologized immediately and immensely. Sorry...that slipped.

Glad you guys are doing alright. I hope you both continue to do better each day.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 02/05/09 06:47 PM

As a final update, Westwood is thriving. Unfortunately a year of unemployment has caught up to me and I will be moving. My new landlord has a strict no pet policy and so I will be listing Westwood for sale to go to a new home. It saddens me greatly to have to do this, but I know he needs a playmate and perhaps this is the best way for it to happen. Thank you again for all your support.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: We are in mourning, question about sg left beh - 02/05/09 08:37 PM

Here is some pics of Westwood as a final post for me in this topic:





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