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#1202036 - 12/08/11 12:12 PM Terrified of my male
kbishness
Unregistered


I got my two little fuzzybutts about 5 days ago. I've worn them in our bonding pouch for 2 days, today will be the third. The female is really sweet and calm, but the male lunges at my face when I open their cage door.. He crabs and lunges at me even if I sit about half a foot away from their cage. I talk to him through the cage and massage him through the bonding pouch but I can't get in the cage to pick them up unless they are asleep. He really scares the crap out of me and I'm terrified of getting bitten. I dont want to flinch or act scared when he lunges at me.. I mean he's just a little thing.. but its instinctual.. I have no idea how to calm myself down. Should I use gloves when I reach in the cage? I find every time I'm opening the cage now I'm very scared of him.. even when he's in his blanket sleeping! Is it normal to be so fearful of your sugar glider?

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#1202039 - 12/08/11 12:17 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
You'd be surprised how many people are scared of these little itty bitties. smile But please remember something. He is NOT mean. He's terrified, and he's acting that way because of his fear.

Right now, what he needs is for you to back up a bit. Don't reach into the cage, don't try to hold him. In fact, he may not even be ready for the bonding pouch quite yet because he's still unsure of you. Gliders take a lot of patience, more than most people know, and building a relationship with them takes a good bit of time.

Here's a great link for you to read - it will give you an idea of what your male is going through right now as he looks at you.

Building A Relationship With Your Glider

Don't use gloves, they aren't necessary because right now, you don't want to put your hands in where he can bite them. By doing so, he's reacting instinctively, as well and is going to fight those hands off.

If he's sleeping in a blankie, then he can't see you. You may want to consider using an open environment pouch for a bit, until he learns to trust a bit more.
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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#1202042 - 12/08/11 12:38 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


Thank you! I'm so diappointed in myself. I went to the cage, opened it.. thought about picking them up to put them in the bonding pouch got scared closed the door cried and came back to the msg you left. It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one afraid of my baby. I think I will try to just talk to them through the cage and see how he reacts to me after a few days. Should I tryy just sitting near the cage talking and moving a bit to get him used to my movements and sounds? How will he learn to trust me if I don't have him in the pouch to smell me?

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#1202045 - 12/08/11 12:49 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
Sitting by the cage and talking to him is a great idea. He just needs to learn that you're okay and that you aren't going to hurt him. YOU know this, but he doesn't so he needs the reassurance. So tell him. smile You have plenty of time for him to get to know you - remember that these little guys live for several years and he'll be a part of your family for that long. So there's no need to rush and if you try to, it will only move you backwards. And believe me, your smell is not the only thing he needs to learn when it comes to trust - more so, he has to know that when your hand goes in that cage, you aren't going to grab him with it to hurt him. Treats will go a long way but at this point, it's early - don't worry about those quite yet. He needs to understand that when you open that cage door, you're only there to comfort him. And as you do that more and more - opening the door of the cage, putting food in, giving treats, petting him gently (in time), he'll realize, "hey, she's okay - so far she hasn't hurt me" and he'll begin to let his guard down. It isn't always easy, but it DOES work and even those little baby steps will make your heart soar. smile

I'm going to send you a PM - look for the flashing envelope at the top of the page.
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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#1202050 - 12/08/11 12:55 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
yiyo Offline
Serious Glideritis

Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 7560
Loc: Long Island, NY
You've gotten great advice from Aimee!

When I first got mine I was terrified of him also. And I was bitten every day because I was trying to move too quickly for him. Once I slowed down and learned to listen to him and moved at HIS pace, the process turned in the right direction.

Keep reading and asking questions and you're gonna do just fine wink
_________________________
Alyssa

"Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard."

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#1202062 - 12/08/11 01:24 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


Thank you yiyo smile I'm hoping Aimee will help me be the best mommy I can for him. I feel bad I've been pushing him too fast. The girl is very sweet and seems to not be afraid of me at all but I dont want to split them up and work with her while he's left alone in the cage wondering why she's gone. I wish I could have done more research before we brought them home, I have no idea who to trust on the internet.. everyone seems to be saying the place we got them from has bad methods of raising the babies.. And the people we got them from are saying if we do what the other people tell us to our babies will get stressed and sick and maybe die. I'm scared frown

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#1202065 - 12/08/11 01:33 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
yiyo Offline
Serious Glideritis

Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 7560
Loc: Long Island, NY
I'm sending a PM now.
_________________________
Alyssa

"Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard."

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#1202066 - 12/08/11 01:33 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
sitkasmom Offline
Glider Addict

Registered: 09/27/11
Posts: 3039
Loc: Finally in the Mountains!
Just take it slow. Don't stress so much. your babies will feel the stress from you and become stressed. People here have babies from all over. I have two rescues myself.

The people here give advice from the heart. There are many people on here that have had these little boogers for years.

My advice stick here! Ask any question!

The only stupid question is one that isn't asked!

Read, Read, Read!!

Take it easy, you are supposed to be enjoying these little worm snarfers... smile
_________________________
"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."

Two Boys
Sitka,
Pudge

Monkeys:
Nanuk, Dayz & Elfie
MudBug & Tista
Teemo & Rune (Cyndra gangel )
Lils, Razz & Nut


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#1202069 - 12/08/11 01:37 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


Thanks sitkasmom, I joined this forum because it seemed like a lot of the posters have healthy happy sugar babies for quite a few years now. I want whats best for them, and seeing the people on here have such great results makes me question the information I've been given by the people we got our lovies from. I'm hoping whatever I'm doing wrong now I can fix quickly!

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#1202075 - 12/08/11 01:57 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
norton33 Offline
Glider Guardian

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 925
Loc: NY
When I first got ours, it was a random thing. Just happened that the vet my mom works at had someone come in that couldn't keep them anymore while I happen to be visiting! Same idea - I didn't know much about them at all. I actually was going to a different site in the beginning - but as I kept researching, moved from one site, to another forum, etc etc... until I got to this one. There really is the best and most reliable information (in my opinion) here on GliderCentral. Not only that, the people here are more of a community than just a forum / bulletin board. There are emergency contacts, vets, etc. You definitely are in the right place.

Oh and for what it's worth, I consider myself to be a pretty tough dude, and I was scared of ours at first too... and would pull away just at the sound of a crab real quick, forget seeing the lunge lol. Don't stress. I tried to move too fast with Norton (who was scared of us, always crabbing and lunging) in the beginning, and now, a year later, I think I've made more progress with him than with the one that wasn't afraid of me at all in the beginning.

Patience goes a long way.

OH, and as far as leaving him in the cage while taking her out - he'll be ok. You can work with each of them at their own paces. :]


Edited by norton33 (12/08/11 01:58 PM)
_________________________
Jason
--------



:grey: Norton :bb: Trixie :grey: Leela :grey: Stella :grey: Penelope :rbridge: Ally

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#1202096 - 12/08/11 03:13 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
Mastiff_Mama Offline
Glider Guardian

Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 917
Loc: Missouri
My very first pair were the same way. They were both fear bitters, and they crabbed everytime I would breath in another room. I was scared to get bitten too, but I can honestly say I have only been bitten maybe 2 times by them. ZERO from our other pairs. Between us learning the correct way to bond with them AND getting our other gliders from reputable breeders, we have yet to be in those shoes again.

Our oldest pair is now over 4 years old, and they run to the door when we come to play with them. It is a shame that the breeder they came from is still "cranking" our joeys and not touching them until someone is there to take them home.

I remember when I went to pick up Laverne & Shirley, he let Shirley dangle by her tail and she screamed. She bit him so hard on the palm of his hand that I almost said NO since I was deathly afraid of them. I let them sit for almost a week before I started talking to them. Now, I am SO glad she bit him, just because he deserved it!!!!

You need to SHOW love in order to RECEIVE it!
_________________________
-Amber Nicole
Mama to 2 Mastiffs... Sonja & Angel
and
A Slave To Many... :grey: :wfb: :leu: :rtmo:
A loving wife to Chris

***Sprinkled With Sugar Paradise***
http://swsp.weebly.com

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#1202108 - 12/08/11 03:37 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: Mastiff_Mama]
sitkasmom Offline
Glider Addict

Registered: 09/27/11
Posts: 3039
Loc: Finally in the Mountains!
I wasn't scared of Nanuk until he reached through the bars of his cage and smacked my boxer on the nose... and this was his first night home with me...

I thought, Jeez if this little boogers gonna do that to a DOG thats 1,000 times his size, whats he gonna do to my little fingers??

He's only nipped me a couple of times actually and it wasnt all that bad. Just enough to let me know "Hey Sister, dont push it!"
_________________________
"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."

Two Boys
Sitka,
Pudge

Monkeys:
Nanuk, Dayz & Elfie
MudBug & Tista
Teemo & Rune (Cyndra gangel )
Lils, Razz & Nut


Top
#1202160 - 12/08/11 06:54 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


LoL it seems silly to be afraid of such a little guy doesnt it? I hope for both our sakes I can conquer my fear and only go as fast as he's ready to go. How do you suggest picking up the female who isnt so fearful of me while he's in the cage though? He's super protective of her.

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#1202163 - 12/08/11 06:55 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
heidi Offline
Glider Slave

Registered: 10/08/09
Posts: 1661
Loc: conway south carolina/ us
dc muffin gave great advice...you may want to where aa old shirt and put around there cage too..so they get use to your sent...tom will where strips of fleese when he works out andput it in there cage..talking to them is a very good thing to do..try to give treets threw the bars..you can read to them or sing to them ..if you have a tent you can sit there read a book and let them investigate you on there terms..this is a long prossess.so sit on something..sor your butts sake. but you can not move..tet them jump omn you sent you up..and i whould where a baseball hat to limit face hugs...but please read the bonding link dc muffin gave..good luck and keep up the good work
_________________________
"promise me you'll always remeber:you're braver than you believe,and stronger than you seem,and smarter than you think" christopher robin to pooh

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#1202164 - 12/08/11 06:56 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
sitkasmom Offline
Glider Addict

Registered: 09/27/11
Posts: 3039
Loc: Finally in the Mountains!
Let HER climb in your hand. Dont grab her. She might not let you pick her up. Just see if she will sit in your hand to eat a treat. He might see her doing it and get the idea wink
_________________________
"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."

Two Boys
Sitka,
Pudge

Monkeys:
Nanuk, Dayz & Elfie
MudBug & Tista
Teemo & Rune (Cyndra gangel )
Lils, Razz & Nut


Top
#1202165 - 12/08/11 06:56 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
Right now, I'd back off on both of them and just give them some space to get used to things. And honestly, once you begin working with them, you'll want to work more closely with him anyway, because he's the one that will be harder to work with. So for now, I say talk to them, reassure them that they're safe and okay and in a couple more days, you can start working slowly with them.
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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#1202175 - 12/08/11 07:21 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


Thanks guys smile I can see an improvement with him already. He lets me sit next to his cage to talk to him without lunging at my face or crabbing! He barely even pauses now when I move around. Just a quick pause and look then he goes back to his business. I think he enjoyed staying in his cage today instead of being in our bonding pouch. She's been sleeping all day, so I havent seen much of her except when she comes out to eat or drink.

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#1202178 - 12/08/11 07:26 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
You will continue to notice a difference if you take your time like this and move slowly. My advice, for the next couple of days at least, is to just talk to him. You can go to the cage during the day - do your daily thing. Make noise, open the cage and close it again so they know you're there and that even though you're moving around them and doing things in their cage, that you are NOT going to grab for them or hurt them. They NEED this. The bonding, touching, petting and the rest of it can come later. Right now, your only job is to make sure they feel safe where they are. smile
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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#1202181 - 12/08/11 07:30 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


What if he lunges at me when I go to touch his "things"? frown Should I just keep my hand still or slowly take it out? (Knowing how scared I am of him I'll probably jerk even though I keep telling myself not to)

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#1202190 - 12/08/11 07:41 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
Your reaction will be to bring your hand back. It's okay! Don't feel bad about that and you do NOT have to take a bite from him, that's for sure!

Remember what I told you - feed them when they are still sleeping, this will help with him being scared and protecting himself (and her) when you put the food dishes in. Also...when you DO go in there, be confident. Don't go slowly. Don't be nervous or hesitate. Gliders feel what we are feeling, so if you are hesitant, he'll know it and believe me, he'll let you KNOW that he knows. So, open the door, put your hand in, put the food in, take your hand out and close the cage. If he lunges, just make sure that you don't have fingers outstretched. If it's towards your arm or the back of your hand, he's going to bump his nose on you but he won't bite it.

You're going to do just fine. smile
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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#1202196 - 12/08/11 07:55 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


Aimee I think I'm falling in love with you :lshower:
You've been so helpful! Thank you smile Tomorrow I will try to take their bowl out even if he's awake. You guys have all been so supportive :ghug:

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#1202197 - 12/08/11 08:03 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
As I said, I'm here for whatever you need. I want you to be as successful as possible with these two and in time, you WILL be. I promise you, things will get better and they will get easier. Just a few changes and you'll be on your way!
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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#1202294 - 12/09/11 12:00 AM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


hehe well I finally got bit frown Feeding him yogurt from a spoon was working so great I decided to try to feed him a bit from my finger just to see if he'd bite or if he'd be nice about it cause it tasted yummy.. He licked, then bit and crabbed! I yelped lmao but quickly got myself under control and told him it was okay and he would be just fine. Kept talking to him soothingly and offered the spoon again and he went back to his yogurt.

At least now I know what a bite feels like!! :roflmao2:

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#1202306 - 12/09/11 01:21 AM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
Sugaree Offline
Glider Explorer

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 250
Loc: Selangor, MY
LOL.. dont yell when you get bitten.. also dont show that you are scared of him.. Gliders can sense if you are scared..

Bites are no fun.. but trust me! As they slowly gain your trust.. it certainly is very very rewarding. You are only into your first few days smile When i had my first rescue, she was utterly wild.. She took me 8 months to be fully bonded with smile

I am not trying to scare you off hun lol.. But it can take time, just be patient and it will be all fun! Also different gliders have different characteristics, some adept real quick, some just need more time.. so hang in ther! :D
_________________________
MOM to my Wonderful Fuzzbutts:

:grey: Jayden :grey: Lana :grey: Bella :grey: Eddie :grey: Sophie Ann :grey: Ezra

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#1202326 - 12/09/11 07:12 AM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: DCMuffin]
yiyo Offline
Serious Glideritis

Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 7560
Loc: Long Island, NY

:thumb: You've gotten great advice from Aimee, as always!

Also, when you give the yogurt from your finger, you have to be very quick to "re-apply" more. Once the yogurt is gone, he'll bite trying to get more, not necessarily in agression wink
_________________________
Alyssa

"Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard."

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#1202327 - 12/09/11 07:19 AM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: yiyo]
Mastiff_Mama Offline
Glider Guardian

Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 917
Loc: Missouri
Originally Posted By: yiyo

:thumb: You've gotten great advice from Aimee, as always!

Also, when you give the yogurt from your finger, you have to be very quick to "re-apply" more. Once the yogurt is gone, he'll bite trying to get more, not necessarily in agression wink


This is so true. Once the sap is gone on a branch they are licking in the wild, they will "bite down" to release more sap. Just think of it as him biting as an automatic refill button.
_________________________
-Amber Nicole
Mama to 2 Mastiffs... Sonja & Angel
and
A Slave To Many... :grey: :wfb: :leu: :rtmo:
A loving wife to Chris

***Sprinkled With Sugar Paradise***
http://swsp.weebly.com

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#1202364 - 12/09/11 08:44 AM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
Remember, don't push the limits - he's not ready for it off your finger yet. So when he bites, he's scared and is defending himself. Step back, don't forget that - it's not time yet and each time you move forward too quickly, it will take you backwards another step. He needs time. I can't say that enough.
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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#1202400 - 12/09/11 10:55 AM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


Well.. I didnt really yell.. it was more of a squeak of surprise. I'm glad at least I know what it feels like. But I'll be sticking to keeping my finger away from his mouth for a long while rofl

I draped my t-shirt I wore yesterday over the cage last night and have been giving them distance, havent put them in the bonding pouch or anything. He's semi-awake now so I think I'll try to reach in and take away their apple pieces. Wish me luck he doesnt wake up and attack me again. *siiighhhh* I'm a scaredy baby.

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#1202635 - 12/09/11 09:29 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
kbishness
Unregistered


I love watching my little ones play with each other smile So cute. I got my yogurt spoon out and put it up to the bars, they were flipping around and pushing eachother out of the way just to get a lick! LOL It was so darn cute. Of course I'd move it away from one and to the other when they needed a turn. I talked to them while they ate and my male sat for 5 minutes after I took the spoon away wondering if I was going to give him any more!!! He didnt run away as soon as it was done with. Plus he didnt crab or jump toward the cage when I put the spoon to it. I think he's starting to see that I'm indeed his "ice-cream man". Hopefully he continues to tolerate me until he realizes he really does love me too <3 :lshower:

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#1202636 - 12/09/11 09:32 PM Re: Terrified of my male [Re: ]
DCMuffin Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 03/21/10
Posts: 28202
Loc: Washington D.C. Metro Area
Glad to hear he's not seeming so skittish. I'm gonna say, though, that you don't want to feed them through the cage bars, even if it is only a spoon. This will actually encourage them to be aggressive through the cage bars. Sorry!! lol
_________________________
Aimee & The Monkeys

www.gliderchef.com

www.thejumpinmonkey.com

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