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#1407581 - 03/02/17 03:43 PM MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!!
Amanda212 Offline
New Member

Registered: 01/31/17
Posts: 5
Loc: Nj
Hello,
I have had my sugar gliders for about a month now. (They are about 13 weeks old). And they are not bonding with me at all. Actually, they completely hate me. Every morning before work I give them a treat. They are still awake and when they see me they run to the front of the cage. They each take a treat and run to the back of the cage to eat it. When I come home from work I use the bonding pouch while they are still sleeping and then around 8:30pm I wake them up to play. They have their own room just for them and it is completely glider proof. I let them run around for about 30 minutes every night. Some days they are itching to come out of their cage, other days they want no part of it. Once they are out of their cage they automatically begin searching for their pouch. They want no part of being in the room. (I do make sure that the lights are off in the room). After their 30 minute play time I put them back in their pouches and lay in bed with them. I open the pouches and try feeding them treats. Lulu crabs for about 2 minutes and then quiets down, and then I feed her her treat. Lily runs out of the pouch and away from me as soon as she can. Every night I have had to chase her around my room because she runs right out of her pouch. Lulu stays in her pouch, but will just crab at me or fall asleep. I am not sure what to do anymore. It has been a month and I feel as though I have made no progress. I understand that it takes time but I'm starting to get very frustrating chasing Lily around every night and I feel like not only have I made no progress, but that I've actually taken a step backwards. My ultimate goal is to be able to have both girls lay on my stomach while I pet them and feed them treats at night. Do you think this will be at all possible? Or are they a lost hope now?

Thanks for the help, it is very much appreciated.
Amanda

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#1407583 - 03/02/17 08:39 PM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
Ladymagyver Offline
Moderator

Registered: 10/07/14
Posts: 1837
Loc: SW Missouri
They are not a lost hope. Just more patience and time. You have made progress, and remember they are still joeys.

I don't know if they will sit still and take treats at night. It's their time to jump and play.

Your gliders are a lot like mine. Dot runs to her cage and Fiona likes to run. I just let her wear out. You may want a smaller area like a tent or small bathroom till the bonding process is further along.

They trust you to take a treat. It's a start. Give treats once you put them back in the cage.

You can sit and talk or sing softly to them while they are in the cage. Mine like lullabies.

You can click on any word in blue and it will take you to read more on that topic.

You cut up fleece into 4" squares and rub on your skin or put in laundry hamper to get your scent on them and tuck into their sleeping pouch. That way they can get used to your scent.
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Inhale the future...
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Fiona :grey:
Dot :grey:

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#1407586 - 03/02/17 10:36 PM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
Feather Online   gc/lgc
Administrator

Registered: 01/19/08
Posts: 11893
Loc: Wisconsin
I would also go with a tent for out of cage time, the size of your room could be overwhelming for them.
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Feathers-Sweetie, Sklyar Blue, Mister Peanut, Big Mack & Ibo
Fur-Widget, Gadget, Guinan, Mr. Spock, T'Mir, Micheal, Flower, Stevie, Cho & Pappy :bb: T'Pol, Elizabeth & Curzon :wfb: TY, TJ & T'Pring :rtmo: O'Ryan :leu:
Forever in my heart, Gizmo, Tucker and the rest of my babies over the :rbridge:


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#1407588 - 03/03/17 07:38 AM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
Philwojo Offline
Tech Support

Registered: 04/14/15
Posts: 761
Loc: Darien, IL
Reading your story to me it seems like you are reinforcing scary behavior to them. If they don't like something but you keep doing it, why would they "bond" or trust you at that point? If I kept taking you out of your room and forcing you to do things and then shoved you back in would you be happy with me and trust me?

I am not saying you can't bring them out, or do things with them, but if they are running from you and you chase them that is scary to them. Try giving them a night or 2 in a row where you don't take them out and do things with them or hold them. Try and just sit by their cage give them a treat and let them do their own thing. Make it so a treat isn't associated with "it's time to take you out now". Make it so a treat is a reward or a good thing.

It takes time, and you have to move at their pace, not yours. Right now it seems to me you are forcing things and not letting the gliders dictate how it should be going. Listen to what they are telling you with their actions.

One other things is you say you always wake them up at 830, again let them wake up on their own most nights and do their thing, don't force it. That would be like me coming in and waking you up everyday at say 430am and making you run and do things you don't want to be doing at 430, and then 30 minutes to 1 hour later pushing you back in your room.

Try some different things than what you have been, back off a little bit and let them learn to trust you. Be there for them when they need you, let them learn they can trust you. All this takes time and in some cases the bond (trust) can take months to happen.

I think you are doing a lot of great things, just try and see it from their perspective and I think it will help.


Phil
_________________________
Re-homed 2 females on 04/24/2015
Doll Face :wfb:     Sug :grey:

Re-homed From Stephyy24 on 11/06/2015
Bella :grey:           Luna :grey:

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#1407595 - 03/03/17 09:31 AM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
Stef333 Offline
Glider Explorer

Registered: 11/09/16
Posts: 205
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
Hi Amanda! My two joeys came to me in October, and I've been going through the same learning process as you are.

My best advice to you for now is to pretend to be a piece of furniture. Sit totally still and quiet once you open their cage door. They will eventually leap onto you, if only for a moment, but they'll come back again and again as they race around.

They need time to get comfortable with your presence, knowing that you'll let them sniff and explore you without doing anything big and scary (like moving or making noise). Avoid following or chasing Lily and just let her come back to you or the cage in her own time. Time is the really big thing - it could take an hour or more for her to feel safe in coming back to you, and all you can do is wait at this point.

Remember that Lulu and Lily are in charge of bonding. They can't help but fall in love with the hand that feeds them eventually, you just have to give them the time and space they need to learn trust in you. smile
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#1407599 - 03/03/17 03:36 PM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
Hutch Online   confused
Glider Guardian

Registered: 11/10/15
Posts: 814
Loc: Heinsberg, Germany
Amanda,

I would like to emphisize three things that have already been said, but deserve a spot light & foot stomp:

1. Smaller room. I used a tiny bathroom at first that barely had enough room for me to sit comfortably on the floor. That prevents them from running to go far from you & gives them a chance to become use to being near you. You can make that easier on them by...

2. Be furniture. They don't understand that you're safe (& fun) yet. You can ease thier mind about you being there by just sitting back & letting them do their thing about 80%+ of the time. You can also lower your threat level...

3. Keep them in their comfort zone. Their cage is their 'home' & they consider it safe. There were a couple times I 'interupted' our normally scheduled playtime to give them a few nights off & would sit by the cage reading aloud, talking to them, or even sing. If they came over to 'inspect' me, I slowly offered a hand for them to sniff.

Just remember: Patience is paramount.
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:plat: Arthur :wfb: Gwynevere :bb: Merlin :grey: Morgana

The epic saga begins here!

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#1407602 - 03/03/17 05:06 PM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
TwoDog Offline
Glider Lover

Registered: 12/28/15
Posts: 463
Loc: Pacific NW
Amanda hi!
Yeah, you never want to chase and grab. Anything that scares them, erodes your trust level.

A good way to collect them if you have to get them back in the cage is to put a few yogies in a sleeping pouch and throw it down in front of her. Once she's in the pouch you can just move her to the cage.

If you do have to grab them, use a fleece towel. This helps disassociate the grabbing action from your hand.

Tent Time, and Being Furniture are great ways to build that relationship.

And here's a few weird ones you can try...

Nose-Touch Drive-by. Instead of sticking your hand in the cage to greet them, lead with your face. I have found they understand this gesture and will respond to it--reaching back to touch their nose to yours. Just touch noses and then go. Very short positive interaction--repeat often.

Yogie Drive-By. Interrupt their sleep in the middle of the day--just for a second. A little shake of the pouch, drop a few yogies into the bag, and go. Make sure to get your hand far enough into the pouch to touch them, when delivering the yogies--this ensures they are aware that it's your hand there, and not just yogies falling from the sky. You want to build that positive association with your hand.

Multiple short positive experiences with mommy/daddy tree seem to imprint you faster than the same time spent in, fewer, longer sessions.

Ugh...hand...what...yoggies? Awww--yummy....hand good....slurp slurp....zzzzzzzz.....

Or the directors cut....

Justin: "...but then, one day, the middle of Snuggle, the Light came down! And with it...The Hand!"
Athena: "eeeek!"
Aria: (ears down...paws to face) "!"
Arrow: <rolls over onto his back>"Coooool...killer Hand!"
Frisby: <glares> "Honey, stop scaring them. Aria won't go out at Snuggle time to pee and, she'll pee the pouch"
Aria: "<spit spit>"
Justin: "Hmmph. Yeah...kids the hand came down and...<sigh>...dropped YOGIES on us!"
Aria: <Claps excitedly. Grabs--starts licking tail>
Arrow: "Laaaame, Dad."
Frisby: Sweetie, don't do that...Justin...?"
Justin: "Honey, stop licking your tail."

Once you are to the point where they will let you pull the pouch out of the cage and stick your hand in there with them for nap time, you can start to do sessions with your hand in the pouch as they get ready to sleep--I like to call them "Sleep-overs"
This builds your relationship fast. The FIST...Yogurt Fist, etc...

As they get more comfortable with your hands, they will start to allow you to pet them inside the pouch...then outside the pouch, then petting while sitting on you...and so it goes...
Eventually you stick your hand into the bag and it becomes a little frenzy of hugs and kisses.

Be aware though, that being grabbed and snuggled by your huge crushing, talon-like graspers is not natural for prey animals. Some gliders will never take to being grabbed--and it can't be forced.

Your goal of them eating yogies on your stomach is totally achievable. Just don't expect them to sit still for long. :-)

Good luck and Happy Glider-ing. :-)


Edited by ComradeFluffy (03/03/17 06:20 PM)

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#1407613 - 03/04/17 08:25 AM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: TwoDog]
KarenE Offline
Owner

Registered: 03/25/00
Posts: 41089
Loc: LittleRock, AR USA
Originally Posted By: ComradeFluffy

Nose-Touch Drive-by. Instead of sticking your hand in the cage to greet them, lead with your face. I have found they understand this gesture and will respond to it--reaching back to touch their nose to yours. Just touch noses and then go.. Very short positive interaction--repeat often.


Good luck and Happy Glider-ing. :-)


Far be it for me to disagree with The Fluff Master aka ComradeFluffy, however, be ready for a quick exit when attempting this maneuver as it could result in an unexpected face hug shock
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#1407617 - 03/04/17 09:38 AM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
TwoDog Offline
Glider Lover

Registered: 12/28/15
Posts: 463
Loc: Pacific NW
This is true. :-)

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#1407619 - 03/04/17 10:08 AM Re: MY GLIDERS HATE ME.. please help!! [Re: Amanda212]
Stef333 Offline
Glider Explorer

Registered: 11/09/16
Posts: 205
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
I've had success with the nose touch in the last few weeks. When they're in the pouch and just starting to poke their noses out, I lean in with my nose and leave just enough space between us to allow them to stretch out and touch me.

I've had plenty of flying face hugs as well, but not when they're in pouch mode. I probably wouldn't attempt the nose touch when they are awake and active. smile
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