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#1411528 - 08/11/17 08:29 PM I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him...
CrypticDelirium Offline
New Member

Registered: 06/27/17
Posts: 12
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Hi all! SO I did a stupid. MANY stupids actually. (Please keep in mind that I am NOT used to a healthy furever pet to call my own, I'm used to rescues and worst case scenarios so this is why I freak out)

SO it's been almost a week and it was going SO well. He let me pet him while I gave him small niblets of fruit and treats and curiously watched me watch him during half the night while I studied. THEN he started crabbing and after inspection feared he had a claw stuck in his pouch. (Which he did not and the pouch is super well made and I shouldn't have been so stupid) So I tried gently prying him out to see what was stuck and I got bitten to where blood was drawn. I thought it was in fear and pain of being stuck so not knowing what else to do turned the pouch inside out shaking gently until he popped out and was fine. NOW when I so much as LOOK at him he crabs at me and runs to hide. frown I'm trying everything I can think of from soft talking to him and having my shirt in the bottom of the cage for my scent but he still wants nothing to do with me, not even when I try offering favorite treats. Will this just be a phase that will pass or is there ANYTHING else I can do but give it time?!?!?!

Another stupid I did, I shall admit- He'd shredded his tiny chicken bits and they looked like worms. Knowing how healthy and well taken care of he was I took a huge risk instead of rushing to use my emergency vet fund and I ate one. It WAS of course (thank heavens) chicken bits. I do realize how foolish this was but I'd rather need antibiotics myself and then take him to the vet if it wasn't chicken than terrify him more with parasite tests just to spend a ton to find out he's a messy eater.

I love my lil guy and would do anything to start winning his trust back, but except waiting have no idea how when he won't look at me without yelling at me. This has gone on two days and breaks my heart.

Any ideas are so appreciated, thank you all so much- everyone here is always so helpful and great!

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#1411531 - 08/11/17 09:14 PM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
Terry Offline
Glider Addict

Registered: 04/29/12
Posts: 4975
Loc: Maryland
Be patient, he should come around again. I recommend just starting from the beginning. Give him a couple of days off from bonding exercises, take care of him, and greet him when you approach the cage. Then begin with the steps you started with. Still at this point, be patient, repetition, steady and consistency are key with trust-building.

Keep ups posted on how it's going.

And, please don't beat yourself up too bad, we all make silly mistakes.
_________________________
Lives with:
1 God
1 dog, (Willow)
2 Sugies, (Ollie & Skadoosh)
R.I.P. Lulu (2/28/12-10/13/17)

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#1411533 - 08/11/17 09:42 PM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
Feather Offline
Administrator

Registered: 01/19/08
Posts: 12068
Loc: Wisconsin
The chicken bits were spitums, they will suck what they want out of the morsel and then spit out the rest.
_________________________
Kimberley
Feathers-Sweetie, Sklyar Blue, Mister Peanut, Big Mack & Ibo
Fur-Guinan, Mr. Spock, T'Mir, Micheal, Stevie, Cho & Maharet :bb: T'Pol, Elizabeth & Curzon :wfb: TY, TJ, Khayman & T'Pring :rtmo: O'Ryan :leu:
Forever in my heart, Gizmo, Tucker and the rest of my babies over the :rbridge:


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#1411535 - 08/11/17 10:12 PM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
CrypticDelirium Offline
New Member

Registered: 06/27/17
Posts: 12
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Thanks Terry, I shall do my best and give updates!

Feather: AHHHH Thanks, I'm just glad it wasn't worms @__@ I must sound insane, but if they had been moving or anything and he was a rescue rather than my healthy furever pet I would have hesitated more! Good to know, thanks, was worried he wasn't chewing right on his own yet so microscopically cut up the veggies and fruit bits. XD

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#1411536 - 08/11/17 10:28 PM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
josefine Offline
Glider Addict

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 2713
Loc: Perry, Iowa
go to forum list on top. go into bonding section. the post right under yours you need to read, this will help enormously.
there are many really good reads in that section.
_________________________
Larry & Josefine Vodenik
2014 4 St
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j.vodenik@hotmail.com

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#1411537 - 08/12/17 12:48 AM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
CrypticDelirium Offline
New Member

Registered: 06/27/17
Posts: 12
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Thank yooou! ONE thing I noticed that has helped TREMENDOUSLY has been dimming the lights for him. I'm paying in blood to gently hold my hand right on the inside of the cage with a bit of banana. I've tamed never held rescues easier than this stubborn little guy! BUT I know it's my fault and I look at it from his point of view and don't blame him, he was much friendlier before the pouch thing. I've also put the pouch on the floor of his cage which seems comforting to him as he can run to get a bit of food and run right back. I REALLY want to try the recommended "Out of cage" time but with him barely letting me touch him I'm worried about getting him back in if he would not go on his own, I fear it may scare him more to catch him and make it worse.

I promise to try everything I can in the bonding section and know it just takes time. He's just the smartest, most stubborn glider I've EVER encountered... and complicated or not, I kinda love that about him!

MUCH gratitude for the input and will work my best at his pace until he's fully comfy with me. <3

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#1411539 - 08/12/17 03:01 AM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
Hutch Offline
Glider Guardian

Registered: 11/10/15
Posts: 880
Loc: Heinsberg, Germany
I've found that, when things have become very stressful for either party, it actually is more progressive to step back for several days. I don't mean ignore them, but just no direct interactions. Sit near the cage, read or talk to the furballs, just be close enough that they can see & smell you being non-threatening. If he gets really curious & hangs out close for a while, very slowly offer a treat through the bars (do not invade his space).

This allows everyone to calm down & can actually move things forward. There were a few times when I was bonding with mine that we just kind-of plateaued & I did this. When I started being interactive again, we were better than before.

Patience is everything, healthy or rescue.

**************************************

& don't eat random things from your critter's domain. I've had parasites... it is not fun & takes more than a simple round of antibiotics for humans :sick:
_________________________
- Hutch

:plat: Arthur :wfb: Gwynevere :bb: Merlin :grey: Morgana

The epic saga begins here!

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#1411541 - 08/12/17 04:24 AM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
TwoDog Online   content
Glider Lover

Registered: 12/28/15
Posts: 506
Loc: Pacific NW
Cryptic hey! Welcome to the sugar madness!
Don't be too worried. He will forgive and forget your negative encounter with him. They are very forgiving.

Generally though, no-chase, no grab is the best policy if you can manage it. They hate our hands--at least at first.
Sometimes though...when danger presents itself, you just have to GRAB now, and apologize later.

Probably best to not take any chances on him getting loose for a while. If he does get loose on you, the best thing I have found is to close off the room as best you can, and then follow him slowly at a distance--perhaps occasionally tossing down his sleeping pouch on the floor ahead of his path.

Hey is this my sleeping pouch?
<YOINK!>

Once you get to the point that they won't run from you, it's a lot easier to let them out.

Get yourself a little tent. Then you can do tent time--really good bonding tool.

Eventually, the ultimate weapon is "sleeping" in the pouch with them--with your hand. But that takes some time to get to.

Hutch has given you some great advice. Take a step back. We WANT to cuddle and squeeze them and pet them and pat them and call them "George" RIGHT now.
(I do anyway)

But soon...

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#1411543 - 08/12/17 04:46 AM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
TwoDog Online   content
Glider Lover

Registered: 12/28/15
Posts: 506
Loc: Pacific NW
Here's a guy after my own heart.
Is that a parasitic anal worm or a bit of chicken?

Mmm...chicken.

Careful though. Sometimes--not chicken.

AGH! NOT CHICKEN! NOT CHICKEN!

By the way...just to verify. There are no such things as chocolate tic tacs. They don't make them.

And grossness not withstanding there are some legitimate diseases you can get from your gliders. e.g. Tritrichomonas

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#1411544 - 08/12/17 08:32 AM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
Stef333 Offline
Glider Explorer

Registered: 11/09/16
Posts: 242
Loc: Free Like the Wind!
Hey Cryptic! I feel your pain. I got thoughtlessly grabby with my Winky one morning, and it took weeks to recover her trust. Maybe your little guy is just naturally a bit high strung like Winky. My other glider, Yoda, has no problem with the occasional grab, and still happily sits in my hands. Every glider bonds at their own pace, and some definitely require more effort than others.

I'll repeat the same mantra as everyone else... Patience. Spending lots of quiet time in proximity to each other is the best way to earn mutual trust. smile


LOL @ TwoDog. Good advice about the chocolate tic tacs. One of those dropped in your coffee does *not* make it a mocha. wink
_________________________
:grey: Yoda (Yodiferous) :grey: Jabberwinky (Young Winkenstein)

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#1411566 - 08/14/17 06:15 PM Re: I ruined everything and my Joey now crabs when I so much as LOOK at him... [Re: CrypticDelirium]
BYK_Chainsaw Offline
Joey Member

Registered: 09/05/15
Posts: 146
Loc: indiana
It has taken me and my wife weeks, if not months if not MANY months to bond with our gliders. it depends on the glider and how well you do your bonding, not to much and not to little. but it usually takes LOTS AND LOTS of time.

So you need to give it a FEW MONTHS!!, then start worrying if things are not going well!!
_________________________
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Gizmo :grey: / link :bb: / Sophie :wfb: / Riggs :grey: / scarface :grey: / gus :wfb: / mary :wfb: / connor :grey: / cupcake :leu: / unnamed :grey: / unnamed :plat: / pinkie :cream:

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