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#23860 - 07/21/04 01:23 PM Can Fiance join me in tent time?

Hey all

I just got my little precious baby, Frodo, last Saturday. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yelclap.gif" alt="" /> I think I've already made some mistakes because he seemed friendlier the first day than he does now. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crying.gif" alt="" /> The first time I had him in his bonding pouch around my neck, I hit my head which startled him and he ran out of his pouch to the top of my head. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> He only ever crabs during the day.. he hates to be woken up and I think me trying to pet him or give him licky treats during the day is making him like me less. Is this possible? Our tent time is going well... he climbs all over me and jumps to me when he is startled. However, when we first get in there, he just clings to my back not moving for about 15 minutes.. I think maybe he is just really slow to wake up. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> The tent zipper really scares him too. All in all I think we are making progress though because I am learning a whole lot! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yelclap.gif" alt="" />

My actual question is this. My fiance has been out of town the last three days, and when he returns this evening he is going to want to join in on tent time. I feel like this might be too much for Frodo, who is still learning if he can trust me. What do you guys think? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


#23861 - 07/21/04 01:44 PM Re: Can Fiance join me in tent time? [Re: ]

Having your fiance in the tent at this time can have bad and good consequences. I think that it might be a bit hard on little Frodo since you have only had him for a short while. Let your fiance carry him in a bonding pouch and let Frodo bond to you first. When he is more comfortable with his surroundings, it would be okay to have the two of you in the ten too. If your fiance joins you this early in the game, then it might stress him out more than what he already is. I hope this helped <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/heartpump.gif" alt="" />

#23862 - 07/21/04 02:10 PM Re: Can Fiance join me in tent time? [Re: ]
cyndiekb Offline
Serious Glideritis

Registered: 10/08/03
Posts: 5916
Loc: Cornersville TN I'M HOME :)
That or he might love your fiance more and that could stress you out. It does happen lol hubby and I had a real tiff over my Zeus!

I heart & miss you HALEY

My runaways 4/04 Lilo, 5/04 Dash & Angel

angel Sprite Says GO STEALTH!! at

#23863 - 07/21/04 04:11 PM Re: Can Fiance join me in tent time? [Re: ]
Critter Creations Offline
Glider Addict

Registered: 11/02/00
Posts: 3398
Loc: Rock Falls, IL, USA
I totally agree with both points made above. I would just explain to your fiance that he will be able to join in in time, but not yet. It would just be too stressful for poor frodo at this point and time. Let him know it's nothing personal. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
owned by 4 dogs and 2 gliders really soon
Formerly known as K & D Exotics

#23864 - 07/22/04 04:15 PM Re: Can Fiance join me in tent time? [Re: ]

Ok so I told him about it stressing Frodo out and stuff, but he (my fiance) got all irritated about it and thinks I am being selfish with Frodo. I have to admit I'm afraid of Frodo bonding to my fiance rather than to me... also it's hard to know if I'm making progress with the little guy, and adding another variable wouldn't help. Anyways fiance isn't happy, but I suggested he get his own suggie so we'll see about that.
Thanks all!

#23865 - 07/22/04 05:17 PM Re: Can Fiance join me in tent time? [Re: ]
BMXgirl Offline
Serious Glideritis

Registered: 10/13/00
Posts: 7078
Loc: USA
This is just my experience and opinion... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Little Frodo sounds like to me that he is doing pretty normal as far as bonding goes for some. You say he seemed friendlier the first day than he does now.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Alot of times its not so much that their friendlier at first and get not-so friendly... its that at first, they are extremely scared and nervous... after getting over the initial brand new shock of the first few hours or days.... they become a little more brave. More likely to let you know if your doing something they dont like. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Or to try to tell you they are the boss and 'dont mess with me!'. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Crabbing during the day... he'll get over it. (although a few will always crab if disturbed during sleeping hours... they just dont like their sleep disturbed.) Dont think giving him treats during the day is going to stress him out too bad. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> It might make him nervous to take treats at first, but that will go away.
Carry him with you... talk to him often, pet his bag... crabbing or not.
When you offer treats... be patient and let him come to you. Hold the treats/finger several inches from the top of his bag and let him come to you to get it. (also, besides licky treats... offering a solid item he can grab from you, helps him learn that your being nice and 'giving' him something and will not take it away... helps build trust.) While your offering licky treats... see if you cant gently rub the top of his head while he eats... if not, fine, but keep trying to touch him.
When hes in a deep sleep, see if you cant work on sitting with him and slowly working your way into his bag to rub him... (if not fine, but keep trying.)

If he crabs or lunges when you try to touch him or be around him, 'Freeze'. Just stop what your doing and freeze... (he may bite, but alot of times they dont, or will just lunge and sort of 'bump' you with their nose.) When you freeze like this and keep your hands where they are....he learns your not coming after him to hurt him or your not trying to 'get him'... but he also learns your not going away either.

The most important things I feel is getting the glider used to your scent/hands/ and mannerisms. Continue to do your thing... let him get used to the sounds and movements, etc... he will learn everythings ok.
This may sound strange... I have had very good success with this... When your little one is in his cage at night... go over and sit with your hands in the cage. Offer him a treat, but Dont mess with him. Just calmly pick up one of his toys or something and move it around in your hands and act as though your having a really good time with it. (try not to pay too much attention to what hes doing.) Talk gently while your doing it or sing. Eventually he may just get too curious about what you have or are doing that seems so interesting (they are extremely curious animals)... he may come over and have to check it out. If he does, slowly offer him a small hand toy... see if he'll take it.
Just keep doing this and keep having as much interaction with him and your hands as possible day and night. (If he nips or bites, dont pull back (hard sometimes), 'freeze'.)

The most important thing with bonding I think is making them feel as if everything is their choice. To trust each other. Let them know your really not a big scary giant, but a nice friendly giant that can be lots of fun and be a safe place. They will learn. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Love, understanding, and lots of patience! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/heartpump.gif" alt="" />

With your husband... (this is only my opinion/experience again)
If he wants to go into the tent and you dont mind...let him. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Dont change up your routine or whatever very much because of Frodo... you want him to get used to you the way everything is... let him get used to you and your husbands mannerisms. The sooner he learns everything is going to be allright, the better and actually less stressful.
As long as you are his main caregiver and are with him the most and give him the treats, etc... hes going to consider you his safe place. (hehe! Maybe if your husband gets in there and likes it...he might want one of his very own! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ) My husband just got his own recently after years of being around mine. (although dont tell him I stole his 'baby' away already. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> )
All my 'kids' come here and rest and get used to new scents and sounds for the first few days while I care for them...then I slowly start introducing them to the family... Ive found that the more you gently socialize a Glider, the more safe and comfortable they feel. (or most anyways) (Now, if you dont want your husband in there cause you feel he might 'steal' your tell him any of that part I said. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> )
I think youll do great!
Good luck with little Frodo! I cant wait to hear all about how the bonding is going and all the cute stories about him! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
(Sorry this was so long...)

#23866 - 07/23/04 08:50 AM Re: Can Fiance join me in tent time? [Re: ]

Wow your post was SO helpful!! Last night we had a few breakthroughs. Frodo has gotten to where if I put yogurt in my palm, he will climb right onto my hand to get it. So getting him into the tent is usually pretty easy. I let my fiance into the tent, and Frodo jumped around on him a bit, but always came back to me pretty quickly <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/heartpump.gif" alt="" /> Then after tent time I was watching him in his cage. At first he went and hid in his hammock (it's the cutest thing ever when he peeks over the edge at me!) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/gliderangel.gif" alt="" /> so I started playing with his wheel. He immediately came out to investigate (what a great tip!!) I gave him some yogurt in my palm again, and he let me pet him quite a bit! I think he likes being scratched under his chin! Then I just sat there watching him for a while with the cage door open. Eventually he came over and crawled out of his cage onto my hand without any bribing at all!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yelclap.gif" alt="" /> He explored for a bit, then went back into the cage. I was SO thrilled that he came onto my hand without bribery! My fiance says that he thinks Frodo is already bonding to me... I hope so! I love that little guy more than I ever thought possible. I have two cats and a dog, but my attachment to Frodo is so different from them... I think all this bonding has definately been successful in bonding me to him! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/roflmao.gif" alt="" />

Anyways thanks so much guys for all your help, especially BMX... your post was invaluable to me!! It is so helpful when I'm worried or frustrated about bonding to read all the posts here and know I am not alone! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug2.gif" alt="" /> Thanks again!

#23867 - 07/23/04 09:32 PM Re: Can Fiance join me in tent time? [Re: ]

That was very helpful to me too lol, there were tips I have never seen anywhere else in that post!!

Suggies are different from any pet you will ever have I hear. They arent like a dog, a cat, a snake, or a hampster, they are so unique and I cant wait to get mine!!


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