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#36118 - 02/06/05 03:06 PM Getting Discouraged :(
Anonymous
Unregistered


So... Stuey still won't let me really hold him or anything. He'll only play on me if he's forced to - like if we're in a room where there is nothing else for him to do. He doesn't come to me, doesn't want to take treats out of my hand, etc. When he's in his cage he will go to the highest point so I can't reach him. He doesn't even want me to touch him. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/nixweiss.gif" alt="" /> But it's confusing... because SOMETIMES he does really weird things. Like, he'll jump on me from other things in a room and come near my face and sniff and give me kisses. This is VERY rare for him, mind you. I don't know what to do. I'm at the point now where I'm thinking of just giving him to someone that I know will take good care of him. I have the chance to get a newly oop female... but now I don't know if I want to do that either because I feel like it will be unfair to Stuey. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Any advice would be great, this is making me really sad. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/needhug.gif" alt="" />

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#36119 - 02/06/05 03:44 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Ashley,
Don't get discouraged. You have only had Stuey for about 2 months, right? I know a lot of people on the list have REALLY friendly, sweet, bestfriend type gliders. Sometimes that makes the rest of us feel like we aren't doing a good job. It can be discouraging.

Have you tried only giving him mealies out of your hand? That helped me. They love mealies more than anything. I made a point of holding the mealie by the cage door and making THEM come to me if they wanted it. It only took a week or two of this before they warmed up. Too bad it took me 3 months to try it. I was as discouraged as you.

Also, when Honey was by herself she was not friendly at all. Once she got cagemates she became more social. I think it helped her to feel more secure. I still don't have the kind of glider that I read about here, but they are on their way. They think I'm interesting and like to check me out and will jump out of the cage to me. But they don't want to cuddle or hang out for too long. Too many other things to explore. At least they aren't biting and crabbing at me (Honey used to ATTACK like a little monster)

Please don't get discouraged. I know you have really tried to the best you can for the little guy. It would be sad to give up now.

Also, you adopted him when he was a little older. I think these really friendly gliders are hand raised by great breeders and have a different start in life that makes them more adjusted to humans. I don't know Stuey's background, so I can't really say if that is the case. But my Honey came from a pet store and was like a little monster at first. My Yugi came from a nice home, but the guy didn't ever touch his gliders. Liked to let them roam and just be gliders. So Yugi was also a challenge.

I am not an expert by any means. When I read your post I could really identify. It used to make me so sad. Now my guys are really a source of joy around here. I think Stuey will be too.
Don't be discouraged and keep up the good work. You patience is sure to pay off.
Lots of hugs from here.

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#36120 - 02/06/05 07:23 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Dancing Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 09/10/04
Posts: 22746
Loc: 80 acres of paradise in KS
I have to agree, don't get discouraged! I have 10 gliders and they each and everyone have different personalities. When CiCi came here The first part of Dec. she was a crabby critter to say the least (hence her name) She didn't want me to even look at her. Now she is slowly becoming so sweet. She doesn't crab anymore, doesn't try to draw blood but she is still shy and timid. She was only 5 months old when I got her. KoKo is one of my little males. He and his twin sister were born here. Dayla is a bra baby but KoKo, who got the same treatment, handled the same, just doesn't want anything to do with me. For a couple of months, he would go to the top of the cage if I even looked at it. Now, he will come take mealies from me and has even got on my hand a few times. He may just not be a people glider.

Please just give your little one more time. Let him go at his pace. Don't give up. If he will come give you kisses, even if not very often, then you are doing better with him then I am with KoKo.
_________________________
620-704-9109
Judge not until you have walked in their shoes and lived their lives. What you see online is only part of the story.

I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance


The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.

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#36121 - 02/06/05 08:56 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Not to sound like a broken record, but, don't get discouraged!!! Emmit took a very long time to bond. Maybe because I was new to the whole glider universe...maybe just because of his personality -- because Clara was very quick to bond. It definately has to do with personality (gliderality?!?) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/roflmao.gif" alt="" /> Just keep at it. Once he does bond though, you will realize that persistance pays off. Hang in there!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug2.gif" alt="" />

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#36122 - 02/06/05 09:46 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
SarahW Offline
Glider Lover

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 542
Loc: Norman, OK
Older gliders take longer to bond, and sometimes the bond is different from those who have a joey from 8 weeks OOP. Please, please, PLEASE don't give up on Stuey, though. He's already had to cope with being shuttled from one owner to another, and this slows the bonding process even further.

I've had Sugar and Spice for about 13 months, and the bond still isn't to the point where they'll fall asleep in my hand or chirp in my ear or anything. But, they don't lunge at me anymore, they will take food out of my hand, and they'll let me pet them. They don't bite to cause pain anymore, and one of them will voluntarily climb on my arm. They both come to the front of the cage to greet me. They groom my cuticles every now and then.

Do I wish they would sleep in my shirt and give me a kiss? Of course. But I am grateful for little steps. I was their third owner (fourth if you include their breeder) in a year and a half. Their bond with each other is stronger than their bond with me, but our bond is getting stronger all the time. Things take time and each glider goes at their own pace. One of mine is closer to me than the other, but I think back to how things were when I first got them and can see a lot of progess in both of them. Things will get better, I promise!

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#36123 - 02/06/05 10:39 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


I felt the same way when I got Miracle. I was so excited to get her but she wanted nothing to do w/ me. She would crab and try to bite me any chance she got. She didnt like me one bit.

A few things that helped were:

I would get a treat and hold it out of her pouch just out of reach..shed crab and crab but then she'd quiet enough to slowly creap towards me and take a lick..then go back to crabbing. But eventually she learned that I was giving her the good stuff...

Other gliders help. Once Syd accepted Miracle I let miracle run in the big room w/ them. It helped because MIracle wanted to be w/ the other gliders and in order to do that she had to come near me..so she learned "If they like her I can too"


Be consistent. Be consistent in your routines, be consistent in your rewards. This will make it easier for your glider to become accustomed to your actions and mannerisms.


You said you had a chance to get a female. I dont know if you want two but that could do very well for you if the female was younger and tamer, it would help stuey realize "hey the humans not so bad". I promise that w/ allowing Miracle to run w/ the other gliders she has made more progress in 2 wks than she did in the 2 months.....

And keep a positive outlook. When he jumps to you he is "testing you out". I would keep a reward to give him when he does this so he can associate you w/ tasty treats and good stuff.

You might try just sitting and reading a book or something. Just be kindof invisible to him some of the time and let him get used to territory adn such when you let him out. And then when he does run up to you, play, talk etc till he decides to run off...slowly he will start coming back more and more.

But dont get discouraged. I'm sure poor stuey has had a hard time if hes an older glider w/ getting adjusted. Give him some time and I bet when he bonds to you you will be quite glad you did.

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#36124 - 02/06/05 10:45 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
StitchsMom Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 10569
Loc: IL (St. Louis area)
Awwww! Give it just a bit more time. It took me nearly a year to even come close to bonding with my first suggie, Stich. He wanted NOTHING to do with me. Bribes (mealies, treats) didn't work. Nothing seemed to work. I thought I was the worst glider mommy ever because he seemed to hate me!

But then, he started coming around. It was little things. I would freak out because he would approach my hand in the cage and take a mealie from my hand. This was after nearly five months I would say. Then things got easier and easier. He would cuddle in my hand (at first he wouldn't sleep though) and then he started napping in my shirt or hands. It was great!

I for one, love the bonding process. I like the "challenge" and I love seeing the little differences. For example: Spaz is...well...a total Spaz!! He freaks and crabs at every little thing and he has bitten a few times. The other night I got him out and *silence*. He didn't crab once! It was such a small thing, but I was elated. It took us weeks to make that progress, but it's still progress! He will soon be sleeping in my hand and cuddling in my hair like Gizmo and Sprocket (my adult pair).

Gizmo on the other hand only took a few weeks to bond. I swear this glider could bond to a rock! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/roflmao.gif" alt="" /> He will cuddle anybody who gives him the chance. That is just how Giz is.

Whew! I sure do get talking. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Long story short, it's worth the wait. You will get back 100 times what you put into it. Stich never went to anyone but me after he bonded. He would crab his head off if anyone but me tried to take the food dishes, pet him, etc. Gizmo is a great glider and he is a Momma's Boy, but he will go to anyone. Stich was MY baby.

So, try to give your fur-butt a bit more time. Perhaps hold off on getting him a pal just yet. The key to bonding with a sugar glider is patience. Move at his pace. Try to see things from his point of view. He'll come around in time.

Best of luck to you!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumb.gif" alt="" />
_________________________
~*~Jenny and the fur kids~*~

:grey: :grey: :grey: :leu:

>>> Sugar Glider Slave <<<

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#36125 - 02/06/05 11:21 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Thanks for all of the advice! Truth is, I've been going through A LOT lately, and I think I was looking to him for companionship. He just wouldn't have it. I think I was asking too much of him. I am about to go get him out now and sit in the bathroom with him. I'm taking a book this time. Thanks for telling me that; I love to read but felt I was ignoring him by doing it during "our time." Wish me luck!! Thanks again!

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#36126 - 02/07/05 12:46 AM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
SarahW Offline
Glider Lover

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 542
Loc: Norman, OK
One thing that helped a little when I did bathroom time:

We have four bright light bulbs in the bathroom and I think it stressed the gals out. I tried unscrewing three so it was dimmer and they were a little braver. I also put a blanket down on the floor in case the tile was too cold. With their comfort increased, they were much more playful.

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#36127 - 02/07/05 01:04 AM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


I know how you feel. Ive had peanut for over 5 months now or so and he still hates to be held. [censored] latch on to me no problem and now he even eats and comes back to check to make sure Im there then nibbles some more and comes back to me. Its soo cute. The idea is to get them to realize yur a safety zone. Tails on the other hand. Well. Ive been bad with her. *slaps herself* I havent been playing with her or anything lately. Shes NEVER awake when I am. She SLEEPs all day long and almost all night long. it seems like shes only awake for like 4 hours a night. But once I get her and peanut together after he is neutered and into the tent more often things will get much better.
The bathroom works well, but a tent can be much more fun. There is nothing to worry yourself over and they almost alway choose you over anything else in the tent to play with. They can learn yur smell and that you wont harm them. They also love to jump off of you. But I got discouraged as well. It can be hard. I was looking for a lil guy to love and travel on me all day long. I dont think that will be happening for awhile, but it is getting better. and its the little steps that count. Peanut thrives for his treats now. Jumps right to the door. I hope to soon have tails doing the same.
I have to agree that a new lil one might help. I know it helped peanut a lot. he was very lonely. *hugs* goodluck.

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#36128 - 02/07/05 01:07 AM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


I never really had a problem bonding with mine but that's because they were so very young when they first met us. However I did have to get Stitch used to Mike being gone and me being his new companion in Mike's place. I would just sit and talk to him and (don't laugh) sing to him. He slowly came around (about a month or so) and now he is my best buddy and bites Mike's ears when he comes to visit.

The book idea is excellent!! Try reading out loud softly and see if he responds. They are nosy little critters and maybe he will try to figure out what you are doing and saying (since there is a communication gap of sorts).

Also, I discovered it is better to not wear any perfume or hair products and if at all possible wear the same shirt (without washing it) several nights in a row so he gets a good sniff of your scent everytime he is around you. This may sound discusting but they rely on our scent alot. I did this and ended up cutting the shirt up and letting him have pieces tied to his cage. A cheap fleece pullover from K-mart would be best so there are no strings to get caught up in.

Please don't get discouraged. Once he bonds to you it will all be worth it!!!

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#36129 - 02/07/05 02:11 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
StitchsMom Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 10569
Loc: IL (St. Louis area)
Keep us updated on any progress you make! I'd love to follow along with you guys.

Reading is a great idea! I read or talk to my gliders every single day. It's good for me and them!
_________________________
~*~Jenny and the fur kids~*~

:grey: :grey: :grey: :leu:

>>> Sugar Glider Slave <<<

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#36130 - 02/08/05 08:04 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
minkasmom Offline
Serious Glideritis

Registered: 11/08/04
Posts: 5965
Loc: Northeast Indiana
You've gotten lots of hugs----well here's one more for you!

I swear these little fur-brains can almost read your emotions the minute you're in their sniffing range! My imps know when I'm exhausted, just "going thru the motions" so I can get some shut-eye and peace (or worse so far, right now I'm on crutches with a broken foot & can't reach them when they decide to jump to high perches in their room)....that's when they act up their WORST! Climbing out of my reach, running away from my efforts to just pet them, hiding in places that I can't snatch them & put them away...
They also know when it's time for me to go fix their dinner: they climb & jump on me--I put them on something to play with--they jump right back on me! I get so irritated sometimes, I just look at them & say: "fine, you don't want to get off, you don't get fed either!" (message received, they play on something so I can sneak out with dishes in hand)

As insane as this may sound, just tell Stuey that you love him and when he decides to display a sign of affection in return, you'd like it very much. Tell him what you'd like him to do (sit on your shoulder, chirp in your ear, etc) or not do (that male-hind-end-swing to spread his scent while he pulls on the nearest piece of cloth can be cut out by repeatedly saying "NO" in that "listen-and-obey" stern type of voice--MoJo understands it quite well, and Willie is starting to get the idea, too).

Hang in there & hang on-----it's going to get better! Just meet every encounter with faith & hope & love. They're all contagious.
_________________________
Minkasmom (Papillon Kisses)
Slave to:
28 gliders,
5 cats,
and ONE husband (can't handle two, lol!)
gangel Remembering all my lost loves cry

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#36131 - 02/08/05 09:30 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Anonymous
Unregistered


DONT GIVE UP!!! WHATEVER YOU DO!! It takes time, trust me I know. I got my little girl when she was 3 months old and I could tell that she wasnt very friendly. Anyway I offered her licky treats all the time. Like strawbery yogurt. Also I would sit with my hand/arm in her cage and let her take her time to come to me. Trust me it does take time. Hope that helps and keep us informed!!!

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#36132 - 02/08/05 09:37 PM Re: Getting Discouraged :( [Re: ]
Xglider Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 11157
Loc: Tampa, FL
I posted this as part of another message but I think it is worth repeating here... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yelclap.gif" alt="" />

If I have learned anything it is that each glider is individual and has their own time table for everything...
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/multi.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/roflmao.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/multi.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/roflmao.gif" alt="" /> lol

just keep offering TLC (tender loving care) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/heartpump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug2.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/heartpump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug2.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/heartpump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug2.gif" alt="" />
_________________________
* ~ * John * ~ * Sorry store is closed at this time.. <br>
Link -> ~~ XtremeGlider ~~ Home of the original Re~set Toys! ~~ <br>
Oct 2012 update.. miss my gliders and my
glider family and think of my friends often!!!

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