GliderCENTRAL

My stupidity killed my girl.

Posted By: TammyLynn

My stupidity killed my girl. - 11/21/08 05:27 PM

cryZoe escaped this morning & before we even realized she was gone...she was truly gone. I was upstairs helping my daughters get ready for school when my husband yelled "Honey come here now". I ran downstairs & he is in the bathroom holding his toothbrush & says look & points to the toilet. There was Zoe face down in the water cry cry.
I remember talking to the girls about a dance they are having at school today & giving them money & making sure they had their permission slips & money & putting everthing in each backpack with their lunch money while I was finishing putting Zoe & Cloes food in their kitchen & zipped up their cage. Even though I used one of the chain links to hook the zipper pulls together I had not secured it to the mesh & Zoe worked it loose enough to slip out. I had gone to the bathroom at 5:55 a.m. (I looked at the time because I knew I had to get up by 6:15. When my husband called for me it was 6:20 so there was less than a 20 minute span when she could have gotten into the bathroom. During that time my husband was taking the 3 dogs down to the basement to let them out back for a few minutes & I was getting up & going upstairs to get the girls up.
I am heartbroken cry. I hope no-one ever has to find one of their gliders that way. I even have a sign right beside the towel rack that says Gliders don't float shut the lid. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. I am such a bad Glider Mommie. I don't deserve to have gliders.
My husband took care of burying Zoe out in the back yard (he had to put her pretty close to the house because the ground is pretty much froze, we had snow here last night). I have Cloe in her bonding pouch & she keeps looking at me with a ???? in her eyes. Like Mom where is my little buddy??? I let her down by not keeping Zoe safe.
I know this has been said to death but please people...put a ladder in there so you don't end up like me.
Posted By: TammyLynn

My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 05:34 PM

I found Zoe, face-down, in the toilet this morning. To make a long story short I was doing some stuff with my daughters last night while also putting the gliders food in their kitchen & did not secure the zipper ends on their cage to the mesh & Zoe worked her way through it & she might have had a 10-15 minute window when she went from her cage, down the hallway to the foyer & into the bathroom. I had gone to the bathroom 20 minutes earlier & had not shut the lid. It is my fault & I am such a bad mommie.
I have Cloe in her bonding pouch on me right now & I hope she will be ok.
Please people...don't end up like me...put a ladder in your toilet!!!!!!
Posted By: minkasmom

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 05:48 PM

Tammy, I feel your agony (I've had a similar incident myself with a washing machine...even after 3 years, I still beat myself up every now & again!! cry )

Things like this happen, despite our BEST ATTEMPTS to keep our babies safe. Life has a way of giving us these lessons learned "the hard way" and it's OUR JOB to remember these mistakes & NOT REPEAT THEM. A toilet ladder and a sign to KEEP THE LID DOWN would be 2 good reminders...for me, I'll NEVER mix suggies and laundry day AND I'll never leave an open water jug in the suggies' room either.

We cannot turn back the hands of time...but we CAN set rules on ourselves to be maybe a little smarter in the future. hug2 I'm so sorry.
Posted By: KattyM

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 05:52 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. hug2 Please do not call yourself a bad mommy. We all make mistakes and accidents do happen. I have forgotten to close my cage door completely on more than one occasion in the several years I've owned my babies. Fortunately, I grew up learning to leave the toilet seat down, but there are many hazards in our homes.

Zoe's passing will hopefully serve as a sad reminder that it only takes a minute—just like with a drowning child—for tragedy to happen. Perhaps we can all take a moment to reevaluate how well we have glider proofed our homes, including our bathrooms. And perhaps your story will help save other gliders' lives. heart
Posted By: TammyLynn

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 05:56 PM

I had the sign by the toilet but at 5:55 a.m. this morning I didn't glance at it.
This had BROKE MY HEART. I keep saying "If I had just....". I have lost pets before but it was nothing like this. This was my fault, plain & simple, no excuses. I'll never be able to forgive myself.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 06:23 PM

Tammy, I am so sorry that this happened to you and your glider. hug2
But please try not to blame yourself. Accidents just happen sometimes no matter how diligent we try to be.

Thank you for sharing your story.
I think we will all be double checking our cages and bathrooms tonight!
Posted By: Sherri

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 06:24 PM

I'm so sorry TammyLynn! My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Many hugs! Try not to beat yourself up over Zoe. Accidents do happen no matter how much we try to prepare for them not too. You are a good mommy!!!
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 07:28 PM

cry Tammy I am sooooo sorry!! I know how much you love her and can't imagine the pain your going through right now. Zoe was a firecracker from day one and never knew an iota of fear-probably thought she was conquering the ocean this morning. I know that Zoe was loved and taken good care of and she knew it too, none of us is perfect. I have my signs printed but have yet to frame and hang them in the bathrooms-that will happen today. Keep saying next time I get on GC I'm gonna find that post about how to make a ladder-that too will happen today. You are a great mommy and Chloe needs you heart now more than ever! I'll talk to Boyd tonight and see if we can't give you one of these new babies when they are ready to leave. Chloe can come visit and pick her new friend herself and maybe intros will go smoother for her this time. Lots of prayers and hug2

No reason to ever fear now Sweet Zoe-your old big mama loves you still heart -enjoy that great rainbow glider land you have to conquer now gangel
Posted By: tootles

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 07:30 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up about it things just happen sometimes.
Posted By: TammyLynn

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 07:36 PM

Angel called me & I feel a lot better. You guys have all helped me so much.
My husband said he thought the reason Zoe bypassed the Living Room & Kitchen & came straight to the bathroom was because she had heard me in there & she was coming to find me so I could give her her morning treats. She was probably trying to get them before Cloe could take them away from her.
Zoe will always be in my heart. When this morning comes to mind I just think back to when she got away from Angel on the day I was picking her up & was running across the parking lot & when Angel was able to catch her she was crabbing up a storm.
Posted By: nancy1202

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/21/08 10:38 PM

Oh Tammy, my heart hurts for you. upset Please try to not beat yourself up too bad. You ARE a good mama, and sometimes things just happen. No matter how hard we try to check and re-check every possible little thing to be sure our babies stay safe, it is easy to miss something... I too have been planning on putting in toilet ladders, but just haven't gotten around to it... until today.

Sweetie, I am so very sorry. hug2

My toilet ladders are now in and my signs are up. I'm ashamed that it took this accident to finally get it done. frown
Posted By: sugarlope

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/22/08 12:05 AM

I am so sorry, Tammy. hug2
Posted By: Feather

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/22/08 03:04 AM

I am sorry for your loss. It was a tragic accident, an accident, don't beat yourself up over this.

Let your memories of Zoey comfort you in the days to come.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/22/08 03:08 AM

~~~HUGS~~~~
I am soooo sorry for your loss!
Posted By: tngliderlover

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/22/08 06:28 AM

Tammy, I'm so sorry. cry hug2
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/22/08 12:14 PM

Oh Tammy - this was not your fault - everyone make's mistakes - and yes - I'm sure Zoey knew you loved her and she will alway's be around you to let you know she is there - if you feel a slight brush across your face or arm that's her saying "mommy I'm here and I alway's will be)

RIP Zoey and God speed across the "Rainbow Bridge"

Beezer
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/22/08 01:38 PM

I am sorry for your loss. It was a accident, please don't beat yourself up over this. hug2 hug2
Posted By: ozzi

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/23/08 02:51 AM

I too feel your agony Tammy. Years ago I saved my little Lucy girl from drowning in the Toilet (Thank God) and had I not I would have been destroyed.
There are just no words I can say to help you but you have my deepest sympathies...

Pat
Posted By: kthiessen

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 05:57 AM

I'm so sorry. hug2
Posted By: TammyLynn

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 03:59 PM

Thanks everyone. You have made me feel a lot better. I've made peace with myself & I just hope Zoe is happy...wherever she is. I'm sure she is still looking for adventures.
Posted By: minkasmom

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 04:45 PM

She's in good company with a little girl named Tinkerbell and Wendy Darling over the Rainbow Bridge...they're all being cared for by a dear soul named Tom, he'll watch over all of THEM and Baybe and Vu and many many more sweet fuzzies until we join them. What a day of celebration it will be when we're all together!

Many of us know the anguish you're feeling...we cry with you in remembrance of the loss of our own babies. (Gotta stop before my own flood of tears overtakes me here.)
Posted By: suggiemom1980

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 05:15 PM

She is also playing with CassyAndra and Sir Shrek. I, too, have been sadly reminded of my responsibility to put a ladder in the toilet. I always thought this wouldn't happen to me cause I'm such a careful mommy but I know now, it can happen to anyone. I will make and install a toilet ladder today. I am so sorry for your loss.

Here is a link to more info on the toilet ladder.

http://www.glidercentral.net/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/673348/Searchpage/1/Main/65118/Words/toilet+ladder/Search/true/Re_Not_sure_where_to_find_this#Post673348
Posted By: suggiemom1980

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 06:03 PM

I found the page that shows the toilet ladder. I'm on my way to Lowes to buy the material now.

http://www.suzsugargliders.com/gliderproofing.htm
Posted By: vagraphix

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 06:43 PM

is it just the landware cloth or the stuff with metal in it?
Posted By: vagraphix

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 07:00 PM

Once again I'm sorry for your loss.
I have these huge neon stickers on the inside of the toilet lids in all my bathrooms and my 21 year old son keeps asking me if that is really necessary. So now everytime I walk by and see a seat up I make him come in and close it....................
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 08:06 PM

Does anyone have a copy of that picture that is on the Gliderproofing page of Suz's site??? The one of the lil glider in the life jacket that says "Gliders don't float..."??? I would LOVE to have that sign on my potty's to remind folks to close the lid! I'll PM Suz and see if she can e-mail it to me too.
Posted By: Bourbon

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 08:15 PM

my heart goes out to you tammy
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 08:47 PM

Tammy, I'm so sorry about what happened to your little girl. hug2 She was lucky to have had you as a mom. You did your best. She knows that.
Posted By: nancy1202

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 11:21 PM

Originally Posted By: BelladonnasMom
Does anyone have a copy of that picture that is on the Gliderproofing page of Suz's site??? The one of the lil glider in the life jacket that says "Gliders don't float..."??? I would LOVE to have that sign on my potty's to remind folks to close the lid! I'll PM Suz and see if she can e-mail it to me too.
You can click on that picture for a printable copy. I laminated 2 copies using the clear Contact paper (love that stuff!), punched a hole in them, and hung them from a suction cup to the toilet tanks. thumb Lesson learned from a very adventurous little Zoe! heart
Posted By: nancy1202

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 11:29 PM

Originally Posted By: vagraphix
is it just the landware cloth or the stuff with metal in it?

It's the PVC coated wire, which comes in green at my Lowe's. You can shape a long piece to fit over the rim and bend it to fit. Position it about 1" above the water level, and push it to the back of the rim to keep it dry so it won't rust. I was thinking if you don't have any of the coated wire, you could use the plastic mesh attached to suction cups on the outside of the toilet bowl, and just drape it over the rim, into the bowl.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/24/08 11:33 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your lose.

Keep your head up. *hugs*
Posted By: sugarglidersuz

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/25/08 02:54 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss cry Please try to think of the good times you had with her hug2
Originally Posted By: nancy1202
Originally Posted By: BelladonnasMom
Does anyone have a copy of that picture that is on the Gliderproofing page of Suz's site??? The one of the lil glider in the life jacket that says "Gliders don't float..."??? I would LOVE to have that sign on my potty's to remind folks to close the lid! I'll PM Suz and see if she can e-mail it to me too.
You can click on that picture for a printable copy. I laminated 2 copies using the clear Contact paper (love that stuff!), punched a hole in them, and hung them from a suction cup to the toilet tanks. thumb Lesson learned from a very adventurous little Zoe! heart
off_topic You can also order "Gliders Don't Float" stickers from my Cafe Press store HERE
Posted By: reeny

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/25/08 03:27 AM

Tammy
I am so sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself accidents happen no matter how careful we are.
Posted By: BeckiT

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/25/08 04:10 AM

I'm so sorry Tammy hug2
Posted By: suggiemom1980

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/25/08 05:14 AM

I went to Lowes and Rural King. Neither carry vinyl coated hardware cloth. Any other suggestions? I did buy a roll of galvanized wire but I just can't make myself use it for some reason. My gut won't let me so I figure I read somewhere that I can't use it for this purpose.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/27/08 03:04 PM

What scares me is this almost happened to me...I was playing with my gliders on the stairs, trying to get them to glide down, and my little girl, Cessna, decided she wanted to bound away down the hall to the bathroom, when I went in there to get her, she was bouncing around and just then fell into the toilet...I pulled her out right as she hit the water, she was very unhappy, so I took her back to the cage to her pouch...
I am sooo sorry for your loss, I would have been devastated if I have waited a few minutes to see if my baby'd come back...
Again, I'm sorry for your loss!
Posted By: Xfilefan

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/28/08 12:31 PM

I got mine (green PVC coated wire / hardware cloth) at Home Depot-but seems some have it and some don't...it's the only place I've found it here.

Interesting if sad statistic-at the SGGA 2 years ago, well, I guess 3 now--the #1 cause of accidental death for a glider was drowning in a toilet, according to the death database report.

I haven't said before-but I'm sorry for your loss. hug2
Posted By: BindiAndScrubbie

Re: My stupidity caused the death of my girl. - 11/29/08 03:13 AM

OMG I just stumbled across this post and now I am in tears. I cannot fathom how you feel. I am so sorry this happened, as everyone said, this is not your fault, you obviously loved your girl. One thing, if at all positive that may come out of this, is I am right now at this moment, not only going to put signs up in our bathrooms, but going to shop online and buy ladders. Bless your poor little heart.
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