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Help. Glider grief #702831
12/31/08 04:05 PM
12/31/08 04:05 PM

F
fragmentsofself
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fragmentsofself
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F



I have a one-year old glider named Garcia, whose cage-mate passed away two nights ago. It's a given that I should be spending a ton more time with him right now, but I'm looking for other resources and advice on how to get through this time.

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #702844
12/31/08 04:19 PM
12/31/08 04:19 PM

L
Lizz
Unregistered
Lizz
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L



From what I've read, i think you should spend as much time as possible with Garcia. he's probably feeling very sad and lonely and needs his human mommy to cry with!! If you do get him another friend I think you should get a joey, because from what I understand it's easier to introduce joeys to adults than it is and adult to another adult, especially considering he just lost his mate...I don't know. Someone more knowlegable will help you in a bit laugh

Oh yeah, and Welcome to GC! Sorry that your first post is such a sad one frown

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #702850
12/31/08 04:31 PM
12/31/08 04:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 275
Colorado Springs, Colorado
kyro298 Offline
Glider Explorer
kyro298  Offline
Glider Explorer

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 275
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Welcome smile I think it's something they go through...maybe not on the same level as people but they bond very strongly to each other. When I lost my male, one of my females was not herself for almost 2 months-and she wasn't even alone. They were always VERY close from the second they were introduced. It was very obvious she missed him for a very long time.

I agree all you can do at the moment is probably interact with him as much as possible. Poor guy. frown

Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that an adult or a joey will be accepted and vice versa. That's just always a chance you take when introducing new gliders. I would be concerned if a joey were too small and couldn't defend itself if Garcia didn't accept him/her. I think, for the most part, introductions are successful-but there is always the chance that some gliders are just never going to be able to live together. Proper quarantine and intros are vital when you decide to get a new cagemate for him. Let me apologize in advance if this is old info to you...


Kylah

5 sugar babies-Skitzi, Daddy, Zoomerang, Shiloh, Maddox

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #702853
12/31/08 04:35 PM
12/31/08 04:35 PM

S
ShyRascal
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ShyRascal
Unregistered
S



I am very sorry to hear about your loss and welcome to GC. You have come to a wonderful place, everyone here has been thru what you have and if not they can at least sympathize with your loss. What Lizz said is right on the money, you need to be spending more time with your survivng suggie. While what you feel is terrible, you are both grieving and he really needs you. You will find spending more quality time with him will make you feel better and it will also strengthen the bond between you both. I'm not sure if getting another suggie right now would be in the best interest for either one of you. I can understand why you would feel like you need to do that, but it wouldn't help your little guy or you to get over what your feeling. While it might fill that empty space you have for awhile, your grief will only come out later. Try to take some time for yourself, in awhile you could start looking at new mates or even just a friend. But please, give yourself and your suggie the time that you both deserve. Good Luck to you both and remember GC will always be here if needed.

Sincerely,
Andi

Last edited by ShyRascal; 12/31/08 04:36 PM. Reason: changed word
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #702862
12/31/08 04:47 PM
12/31/08 04:47 PM

B
Beezer
Unregistered
Beezer
Unregistered
B



cry I am so sorry to heara about your loss - God speed little one - angel

Sue
Owned By &
Mom To

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #702867
12/31/08 04:51 PM
12/31/08 04:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 5,830
USA
SugarBlossoms Offline
Serious Glideritis
SugarBlossoms  Offline
Serious Glideritis

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 5,830
USA
I'm so sorry about your baby! With time, the raw pain will ease some and be replaced with the good times and memories you have. Spend lots of time with Garcia, you both need eachother right now.

Do you know why his cage mate passed away? Has Garcia been checked out by your veterinarian?

HUGS


Keeper of Handprints on my Heart, You left your Footprints on my soul.
My precious loves that left to quickly, Peanut, Katie
Isabella, Kiwi, Bonnie and Monroe.

Spread your wings and glide free of pain,
Until the day I see you again.

God speed my precious angels. I love you. Mama.
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: SugarBlossoms] #702879
12/31/08 04:56 PM
12/31/08 04:56 PM

F
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
F



thanks for all your kindness guys. SugarBlossoms - someone who had no right to be in my space, let alone near my animals, left a cage door open and Dylan got out and was found by a cat. He passed in my hands on the way to an emergency vet. It's been awful because the sense of betrayel and violation I feel is beyond words and my little buddy is gone.

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #702883
12/31/08 05:04 PM
12/31/08 05:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,701
Elkhorn, WI
CSteele Offline
Glider Slave
CSteele  Offline
Glider Slave

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,701
Elkhorn, WI
Thats horrible!!! Well I believe in Karma being absolute! Whoever did this will get theirs back 10 times over - I am firm believer of that!!

Hang in there and I am so sorry for you and Garcia frown


Celeste
262-325-7137

Spoonful of Sugars-Gliders & Gear
www.glidersandgear.com

:grey: Nissa, Moose, Faye, Dexter, Frankie,
:wfb: Shakespeare, Elsbeth, Isabeau, Dartanion,
:wt: Adonis
:rtmo: Lily & Lil Aphrodite (my wht mo)

gangel Squirrel & Damien

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: CSteele] #702998
12/31/08 08:22 PM
12/31/08 08:22 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 14,788
Cleveland, Ohio
sugarglidersuz Offline
Glideritis Anonymous
sugarglidersuz  Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 14,788
Cleveland, Ohio
Gliders do grieve very deeply when their cagemate passes. In addition to spending more time with him, you should consider getting him a new companion. Although you will need to go through the 30 day quarantine, the sooner you get started on that, the better off Garcia will be. While it's true that there's no guarantee that he'll accept the new companion, in most cases they will if introductions are done properly.

I'm very sorry for your loss hug2


Suz Enyedy
:bb: Carina & Coobah
Allira & Gizmo :grey:
:grey: Picasso, Trinity Joy & Luna
:rbridge: DaisyMae; Darwin; Mareki; Mambo; Pika; Cricky; Reggie & Bobo, Pepe & Bittah


Suz' Sugar Gliders
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: sugarglidersuz] #703002
12/31/08 08:35 PM
12/31/08 08:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,837
Florida
BindiAndScrubbie Offline
Glider Slave
BindiAndScrubbie  Offline
Glider Slave

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,837
Florida
Awe I am so sorry for what happened to you and Garcia. That is so sad. I agree with Suz in getting a new buddy sooner than later...by the time the 30 day quarentine is up, that may give him enough time to grieve and welcome and actually desire a new friend. Again, I am sorry for your loss.


Davie

:rtmo:SpoiledRottenSuggies.com

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy - Anne Frank
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: BindiAndScrubbie] #703027
12/31/08 08:58 PM
12/31/08 08:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,652
Wisconsin
Feather Offline
Administrator
Feather  Offline
Administrator

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,652
Wisconsin
I am sorry you lost one of your little buddies. It is a shame that person had to mess with something that wasn't his. I too believe in Karma.

Spending extra time with Garcia will help, so would getting him a buddy, just remember that you will have to quarantine the new arrival for at least 30 days.

Welcome to the group, there are a lot of knowledgeable people here that are more than happy to help.

Condolences on the loss of Dylan.


Kimberley
Feathers-Sweetie, Mister Peanut & Big Mack
Fur-Guinan, Mr. Spock, T'Mir, Cho, Toothless, Maverick & Maharet :bb: T'Pol, Elizabeth & Curzon :wfb: TY, TJ, Light Fury, Madison & T'Pring :rtmo:
Forever in my heart, Gizmo, Tucker, Khayman and the rest of my babies over the :rbridge:

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: Feather] #703039
12/31/08 09:09 PM
12/31/08 09:09 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,443
Roanoke, Virginia
mommawannabe Offline
Glider Slave
mommawannabe  Offline
Glider Slave

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,443
Roanoke, Virginia
I am so very sorry to hear about your buddy. I am keeping you and Garcia in my thoughts and prayers. Spend extra time with him!! Another buddy for him is a good thing and Feathers advice is right on about the quarentine. So sooner is better then later. Welcome to GC!! You have found an excellent sight to get support and information from.

Anna


Hubby Tommie
son Logan - 11
Pugs-Duncan and Raven,
Bunnies-Foo&Friday
Hedgies-Sweet Pea,Dobby,Bambi,DarthVader,Lexy,Shadow, Willow & Thatch.
suggies-Izzy, Miley~Toff, Jasper~Twinkie, Nix~Ash, Nash~Riley, Barney~Spryte~Pixie, Apollo~Athena.
Turtles - Shelly~Petunia

www.suggiebabies.com

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: mommawannabe] #703242
01/01/09 02:37 AM
01/01/09 02:37 AM

F
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
F



Suz, when looking for a new buddy for Garcia, should I be looking for a joey or a glider closer to his own age (a year old)?

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #703245
01/01/09 02:45 AM
01/01/09 02:45 AM

P
peace
Unregistered
peace
Unregistered
P



I just want to say I am sorry you lost your one of your Buddies. Sending love and hugs to you and Garcia.

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #703321
01/01/09 09:21 AM
01/01/09 09:21 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 14,788
Cleveland, Ohio
sugarglidersuz Offline
Glideritis Anonymous
sugarglidersuz  Offline
Glideritis Anonymous

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 14,788
Cleveland, Ohio
Originally Posted By: fragmentsofself
Suz, when looking for a new buddy for Garcia, should I be looking for a joey or a glider closer to his own age (a year old)?
Is he neutered? If so, then the age won't matter. If he's not neutered, then you will want to get a neutered male that is already close to his own age. And you should also consider neutering him. I have found that introducing joeys usually works better as the joey seems to bring out the paternal instincts of the glider grieving. When my Pika lost her Cricky, I introduced an 8 week oop joey to her. She immediately fell in love with her and took to her right away heart Little Nara ended up taking care of Pika as she got older and weaker (Pika was 13 when she passed away). This is a picture of the two of them on Pika's last day heart


I later successfully introduced Nara to my Darwin with no problems. By that time, Nara was about 10 months oop and Darwin was a neutered 8 year old.


Suz Enyedy
:bb: Carina & Coobah
Allira & Gizmo :grey:
:grey: Picasso, Trinity Joy & Luna
:rbridge: DaisyMae; Darwin; Mareki; Mambo; Pika; Cricky; Reggie & Bobo, Pepe & Bittah


Suz' Sugar Gliders
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: sugarglidersuz] #703353
01/01/09 11:13 AM
01/01/09 11:13 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,443
Roanoke, Virginia
mommawannabe Offline
Glider Slave
mommawannabe  Offline
Glider Slave

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,443
Roanoke, Virginia
Oh Suz that picture brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad Nara has Darwin now.

Anna


Hubby Tommie
son Logan - 11
Pugs-Duncan and Raven,
Bunnies-Foo&Friday
Hedgies-Sweet Pea,Dobby,Bambi,DarthVader,Lexy,Shadow, Willow & Thatch.
suggies-Izzy, Miley~Toff, Jasper~Twinkie, Nix~Ash, Nash~Riley, Barney~Spryte~Pixie, Apollo~Athena.
Turtles - Shelly~Petunia

www.suggiebabies.com

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: mommawannabe] #703374
01/01/09 11:48 AM
01/01/09 11:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,013
Florida
Jaxsuggies Offline
Glider Guardian
Jaxsuggies  Offline
Glider Guardian

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,013
Florida
First of all I would like to say that I am very sorry for your loss. The good thing about this community is that we suffer with you. So, you don't have to go through this alone.

I hope you find a mate for your baby soon so that the healing process can start as soon as possible.

OOO

Paula


Paula Donofrio-Williams
USDA and Florida Wildlife Licensed
www.firstcoastsuggies.com
904-707-8278
STOP MILL BREEDERS!
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: Jaxsuggies] #704118
01/02/09 11:07 AM
01/02/09 11:07 AM

F
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
F



thanks everyone for your kind words. Suz, that picture is super sweet. smile

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #704122
01/02/09 11:13 AM
01/02/09 11:13 AM
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,402
Michigan
G
gliderma Offline
Serious Glideritis
gliderma  Offline
Serious Glideritis
G

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,402
Michigan
Where are you located?


Lynn Martel
616-272-4374
989-400-5686
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: gliderma] #704150
01/02/09 12:15 PM
01/02/09 12:15 PM

F
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
fragmentsofself
Unregistered
F



I am in New york, Westchester county, outside of the city.

Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: ] #704182
01/02/09 01:35 PM
01/02/09 01:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,968
Northeast Indiana
minkasmom Offline
Serious Glideritis
minkasmom  Offline
Serious Glideritis

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,968
Northeast Indiana
Fragment, I'll extend my sympathies over the loss of Dylan. Why some people can't seem to understand that THEY HAVE NO RIGHT to play with other people's animals/toys/belongings/whatever is just a little difficult for me to comprehend...whatever "excuse" that person may think is VALID. Karma will come back tenfold on that individual. Let it rain! tant

On to you and Garcia...I've only been in this kind of situation once before (where a glider lost his cagemate) and dealing with the grief on his part & the guilt on yours. No matter how hard we try to keep our babies safe, things happen that are outside our control. (unless we keep padlocks on our cage doors, which would work AGAINST us some day...) All you can do at this point is NOT allow this individual out of your sight (if they EVER make it past the front door, that is) the next time they come over. As for Garcia, giving him lots of attention will help a little...but not as much as a new friend will. Have you looked at the All4Gliders website to start working toward getting him a buddy? I mention this one specifically because A4G deals with "forever homes" for gliders who've been abused/neglected/given up for whatever reasons...you could HELP another fuzzyface and he/she could help both of you! As far as getting them TO YOU, well the glider community can pull off some pretty wonderful miracles in that department...just say the word & we can all pitch in hug2

As was mentioned before, we all share your & Garcia's grief. There's hope that things will get better...


Minkasmom (Papillon Kisses)
Slave to:
28 gliders,4 cats,
and ONE husband (can't handle two, lol!)
gangel Remembering all my lost loves cry
Re: Help. Glider grief [Re: minkasmom] #704569
01/02/09 10:52 PM
01/02/09 10:52 PM

A
annej
Unregistered
annej
Unregistered
A



Hi everyone sugar grammie here
our olivia is 2 years old now, and we just adopted edgar about 3 months ago, he is 7 years old, did the quarntine and all placed her pouch in his and vice versa, when they finally were introduced it was great, they both went and took to each other with out incident. I would agree do not wait too long to get another friend

hugs and prays, no that all the babies that cross over the rainbow bridge are playing and eating and staying warm


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