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Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760011
04/03/09 05:02 PM
04/03/09 05:02 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,336
Bee-Bopping round SnakePit USA
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okay Erica,

Quote:
frown You don't understand how much devotion I have for these guys. I love them so much and would do anything. I have no problem with deanna and I'm willing to work with her smile But when she basically says I'm being mean to her I'm going to get defensive. Again, I listen to what everyone has to say. And I'm glad everyone is trying to help me!


I guess this is where I am going to start. because this is the most important change you need to make.. please, please don't think defensive, she didn't say you were being mean.. what she did say is that in a nutshell..

Quote:
" It's important to realize that everyone makes mistakes. If I told you some of the things that I did to my Nika when I first got her, you would feel sick to your stomach. Does that make me a bad glider mom? No, I don't think so, but only because I was able to recognize that I was wronging her and change MY behavior. My glider's behavior changed when I was willing to change MY behavior. Admitting that you are just dying to have her love you and perhaps being a bit impatient about it is not saying anything more than ALL of us here have felt and a LOT of us have acted on. We've been where you have. We understand and we don't think less of you for it hug2


this pretty much sums everything up.. we all have been there, we all wanted our gliders to love us, just as much as we love them, and when we first start out, we sometimes don't realize what it is we do that affects our gliders behaviors and actions.

In order to make the changes in our gliders take place we have to start by being totally honest with ourselves first.

ask your self these questions.

do I love my glider?
do I want my glider to be happy?
do I think that my glider would be happy if I could carry her around all the time?
do I think my glider is unhappy by herself?
do I think that I can get my glider to love me, if I carry her, pet her hold and cuddle with her?
do I want my glider to love me as much as I love her?

the big question.....

Will I do anything to make my glider love me?

these questions with the exception of one is generally answered yes. and when we think about these questions, sometimes we don't realize that those questions are almost always based on how YOU feel and what YOU think.

Quote:

I can't take Pixie where I want? I like taking them downstairs with me because they both come out and snuggle in my sweater pocket... Tinkerbell doesn't like to be without Pixie... Don't know how to fix that... can you?


you can, when she is ready, but as above this is what YOU want, she is a playtime glider, she loves to explore, that is where your trust building should start.

IF she is not accustomed to be held, petted, handled as often as you are doing it, then she may know how to react to that attention. and she may be letting you know.

Deanna is going to come in and start a process with you, but before she does, she has to know in your heart, you won't get defensive, because it will not accomplish anything. so no defenses.. read listen, put yourself in your gliders place. and that is step 2. step one is realizing that for the behavior to change, that we as owners also need to change our behaviors, as deanna said, when we change, they start responding differently.

the first thing we try to point out is the reactions we see, and the probabilities of things that could be happening.. things that are causing the glider to react the way they do. when Deanna gets done, I think then you will understand, but the first thing step 1. is being receptive. Looking first honestly.. at the things we as owners are doing. and why we are doing it. most of the time, it is because that is what WE THINK that is what the glider wants, needs and craves. when in essence it is more about what WE want, what WE need and what WE crave.

this is evident in the words you say when you speak of Tyler not spending time with her, so you think in your head, I will do what she never had, because I think that is what she needs. but in reality, it may not be what she wants, but more about what YOU want. you WANT to give her that attention, you want her to have the attention that YOU THINK she needs, you feel you NEED to do this to make her happy.
you crave the love from her, that you are giving to her.

I hope this all makes sense, and when this is understood, you will be ready to move forward with her.

the question to you is... are you ready??

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: Bourbon] #760041
04/03/09 06:41 PM
04/03/09 06:41 PM

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Yup I'm ready.

That last part I completly understood. I guess I think she'd like having attention when in reality she's not used to it and it's [censored] her out. Is that what you're saying?

I promise I won't get defensive with Deanna... I appreciate her a lot. I hope you understand that. I never meant to be mean to her if she thinks I was. Because I read that post over and over before I responded but when someone says I'm not telling the truth and I'm only telling you guys what you want to hear that's hurtful. Sorry... but that's the truth I've said nothing but the truth.

do I love my glider? YES!
do I want my glider to be happy? YES!
do I think that my glider would be happy if I could carry her around all the time? I don't know... She seems to like it. But I could be wrong.
do I think my glider is unhappy by herself? I don't know. She's used to being by herself. Everything has changed for her... she got put in with Tinkerbell the same day I got her and then I came in... I'm sure she likes company.
do I think that I can get my glider to love me, if I carry her, pet her hold and cuddle with her? No
do I want my glider to love me as much as I love her? YES!

Now before we start this... Can you please explain what's going to happen?

I want to tell you guys I don't want this to change Tinkerbell's behavior in any way.
I was also wondering... maybe I should make a new post about this. Can I take one out at a time so Tinkerbell isn't so freaked out without Pixie? Or is that just something I have to deal with? And vis versa would Pixie be better with me if I took her out alone?

Thanks so much guys! hug2 And like I said before deanna I respect you... so please don't think of ignoring this post because I don't. I DO want to hear your advice. I just don't want to hear you saying I'm lying.

Thanks again hug2 I really appreciate it.

OH! I picked up two different lickily treats today... Baby food was all I could find without added things. They had yogurt but it was a huge container and they can't eat all of that.
I got apple sauce and pear sauce. Is that ok? I still have honey. I'm up for more suggestions. I also got Pixies favorite treats -Pineapple but that's a bite treat.

I'm ready! grin

Wanted to add... They are NOT on me all day. I let them have their 6-8 hours of non interrupted sleep before taking them out. They are usually just on my lap sleeping the whole time they are out while I'm on the computer.

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760407
04/04/09 01:47 PM
04/04/09 01:47 PM

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prettyinpink
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Wanted to add while I'm waiting for Deanna to give me my bonding tips or whatever you mean Bourbon smile

I was watching her 'body language' last night... I DID notice that she would put her ears in 'half mode' when she'd come out of the pouch... I wouldn't pet her. So I gave her her treat and her ears perked up so I pet her softly. I kept watching her vs Tinkerbell and I noticed that Tink doesn't seem to put her ears in 'half mode' even when she seems scared. So is this 'half mode' mean she's mad? Or... because I don't think it means she's scared otherwise Tink would do it when she's scared...
Hmmm...

I tried the lickily treats... frown Pixie only took a little bit. Tink took way more than her. They don't seem to like it... I'll have to check the other grocery stores to see if they have good small yogurt that I can try... BUT she does lick every time she does it.

The difference between Tink and Pixie when I give them bite treats is Tinkerbell makes sure (mealies) she doesn't bite me... she goes up real slow and takes it away with either her mouth or her hand. Pixie just YANKS it hard with her mouth like I'm going to take it away if she's not fast enough... so usually she almost misses me biting every time.
For normal treats like Pineapple and nuts... Tink does the same thing except it's real cute what she does this time. She will hold onto it and let me hold onto it while she takes a bite. She'll just keep coming back. So basically I'm feeding her. LOL.
Pixie is usually better with these kinds of treats but only uses her hand to grab once an awhile. But she is better with these she goes a bit slower. But she's so aggressive... like she's never eaten before and they are going to leave. dunno Can that be stopped too? She should know they aren't going anywhere.

OHHH! One thing. Don't know if it's just me trying to think this, BUT I do think I taught Pixie something. AGAIN. Don't know if it's true.
Ok... this might be a bit long.
She was snuggled up in my hoodie right? She was on my chest ontop of my shirt (not under... LOL) and I gave her a mealie. She did what she usually does grab it fast then swallow it and look for more. I waited until she went back to laying down to give her more. She did it again... swallowed and tried to grab the container from me. Then she went back to laying down... looking at me like a little puppy so I gave her another. THEN she ate it slowly and went back to laying down and looked at me. IS SHE LEARNING??? Because I thought she was! I was so happy I almost cried. (sorry I get teary eyed when my babies improve)

Since you guys know more than me I figured I'd ask you guys. Is she really learning that if she lays down I'll give her more? Because that's what she did! smile
And is there something I can do about her aggression to food... About her stealing from Tink and thinking the food is going to go? She will literally take everything from Tink. She will have this huge pile and not even eat all of it. Only like one and go back to sleep. She will even steal it from Tinks mouth! --I have video of that.

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760498
04/04/09 05:20 PM
04/04/09 05:20 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
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Posts: 1,035
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Hey Erica,

I didn't think you were mean. I am sorry for sounding so accusing, but I was recognizing things like "half mode" (like Bourbon mentioned) in those pictures and it didn't occur to me that you didn't recognize it.

I'm definitely not ignoring this thread, I'm out of town for the weekend and managed to borrow someone's computer for a moment, but we have dinner plans so I have to go. Until I can get back here, just keep trying to watch her body language-you're doing a good job. Earlier you asked about Tink not putting her ears down when she's scared...every glider is different so they are going to have different "signals". Your job is to find out what signals each girl uses for what.


~Deanna~
Chinchillas: Luke, Yoda, and Pronk
Gliders: Nika, Ranger, and DeeGee

(702)250-5236
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: DeeDancer] #760535
04/04/09 06:21 PM
04/04/09 06:21 PM

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prettyinpink
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Thanks Deanna hug2

I thought maybe you were mad at me and that's why you weren't responding... LOL

I'm hoping we can get through this! smile I can't wait!

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760553
04/04/09 07:21 PM
04/04/09 07:21 PM

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BelladonnasMom
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Hey Erica, don't give up on the licky treats too soon thinking they don't like it. They MIGHT not, but most gliders do. Most likely they are just not used to it, so they are not sure hwo to react to it. They are used to the food from your hands being solid. Using the licky stuff on yor finger gets them used to your hands, and shows them that good things happen when you come to Mommy's hands and hang out wink

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760555
04/04/09 07:25 PM
04/04/09 07:25 PM

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prettyinpink
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Hey Robin! hug2 Thanks for checking this out... I'll keep it up. Tinkerbell likes it. Pixie just doesn't seem to but I'll keep it up who knows maybe she'll come around smile

Maybe you can tell the others that I'm not the type of person that would 'hold' my babies down or 'force' them to do things... tounge

BTW Deanna... I just took Tinkerbell out and she DID do the half mode thing so I guess they both DO do it and maybe she just wasn't scared at that moment. So does it mean she's scared or mad? When Pixie does it? Just curious... And Deanna can you help me with Pixie's aggression towards treats? Or is that not possible? And was she in fact learning?

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760558
04/04/09 07:29 PM
04/04/09 07:29 PM

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prettyinpink
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OMG guys! cry I was looking at old pics... and my baby Pixie... well I was looking at her ears and almost all of the pics are at 'half mode'... Does that mean she's mad at me? Or what!!! dunno
That makes me so upset! frown

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760559
04/04/09 07:30 PM
04/04/09 07:30 PM

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BelladonnasMom
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BelladonnasMom
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Someone on another board told me that what that pose means, the ears layed down somewhat. I was describing this behavior in Donna while I was working with her. I'll have to dig it up as I can't remember what he said it means. Maybe Bourbon can give us some insight.

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760562
04/04/09 07:32 PM
04/04/09 07:32 PM

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prettyinpink
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I just don't understand why she's so scared? Maybe she's not used to being out during play time... or me giving her lovin?

I'll try to upload pics later... But almost all of them she's on half mode....

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #760995
04/05/09 07:24 PM
04/05/09 07:24 PM

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BelladonnasMom
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First of all I just want you to know Erica that nobody has abandoned you, your thread or your gliders. This just seems to be the travel weekend for a lot of us. Bourbon is in Missouri and I have been back and forth on short trips this weekend myself.

Now, my 2 cents. I need you to do something for me. I need you to stop telling yourself that your babies are SCARED of you! You yourself say there is no reason for either Pixie or Tink to be afraid of you, and there really isn't. So I think you are worrying yourself too much by using the word scared. My opinion, and most likely that of the others that will jump in later, is that she is apprehensive, or nervous. Not necessarily SCARED, just UNSURE! This is all just as new to them as it is to you, and just take a breath, slow down, and go at their pace. Don't rush things. You have nothing but time and nothing to lose, and I can honestly tell you that the more time you take in this process, the better it will work and the more solid the trust will be.

Okay???

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761001
04/05/09 07:37 PM
04/05/09 07:37 PM

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prettyinpink
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Thanks Robin... hug2

I was mostly just wondering what the down ears meant... you are right I'm worrying too much. I do that too often. I just want to find out what I'm doing wrong with Pixie so I can fix it. I am just confused that's all... I've been going slow.

I let her sleep and then take her out into a bonding pouch... but usually I just take their pouch they are in and set it on my lap and gently rub them while they sleep. Usually when I do this Pixie will either come out or she'll curl up in my hand. And every time I do this she makes this sort of clicking noise when I rub her or when I give her treats... I suppose that's their version of a cats purr. So I'm assuming she's enjoying it? That's why I'm so confused as to why I'm getting bit... she'll just bite me out of the blue while SHE herself curls up in my hand. I'm not doing this SHE is and then will fall asleep... and then wake up turn around give me a bite and then try to get my hand to come back down so she can go back asleep. It's like she likes it but she doesn't. dunno

Wanted to add when I was SUPER calm yesterday she was a sweet heart and her ears perked up... I guess being calm helps. But I usually am! dunno

Last edited by prettyinpink; 04/05/09 07:38 PM.
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761011
04/05/09 07:46 PM
04/05/09 07:46 PM

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BelladonnasMom
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Yes, being calm will do WONDERS! And the ears down is just nerves. She MIGHT be scared, but I am more likely to think she is just unsure of what is goin on; more worried that afraid.

And stop thinking you are doing something WRONG! You are doing everything above and beyond for these girls, and I think you are doing fabulous! Relaxing and working slowly with your girls is going to do wonders, just you see!

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761062
04/05/09 09:05 PM
04/05/09 09:05 PM

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prettyinpink
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Thanks Robin hug2

I'll just keep trying smile I'll try the lickily treats in a little bit. Kirby is out playing right now... So I'll do it when he goes back.

Can't wait to see the 'process' Deanna is going to tell me like Bourbon said.

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761065
04/05/09 09:06 PM
04/05/09 09:06 PM

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monluvspagen
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I am wondering if Pagen is doing the same thing...? Erica did you read my post about Pagen?

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761170
04/06/09 04:06 AM
04/06/09 04:06 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,336
Bee-Bopping round SnakePit USA
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Bourbon Offline
Serious Glideritis
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Erica (and whoever else is reading..) one of the first things we do is to sit back and start watching the gliders, we have to spend as much time getting to know them, that they need to get to know you, through this time, we really want them to love us immediately, but the truth is, why should they? do they know you? do they speak your language? have they spent enough time with you to learn what your body language means, rather than what THEY perceive it as? NO? well then we will just have to fix that now won't we? Erica, you keep saying how are we going to fix this? the fact is, you are going to do it,

Erica, to stop the aggressiveness with the treats, do not offer anything, that they have to use their teeth ANYWHERE near your hands, we have to address other issues first. For now, to give them the treats they have to bite to either get or eat, place them in toys, foraging toys(John Xglider has a great line of these), find different places in their toys to hide the treats that they can find and enjoy. you MAY be able to hand feed them later on..when THEY are ready.

We will give you the direction to take, get you in the right mind frame, teach you the importance of not doing some things and why doing other things may help you more. we will explain in detail, so you really understand what we are saying and why.

From today forward, we won't have to tell you what you are doing that may need fixed, (fixed , not meaning bad, just meaning could be done differently to make things better.)but, we may, maybe to help you see, maybe to help someone that is reading and not posting. You will learn it, you will see it. then you admit it, to yourself, and when questioned maybe to others, It is not a bad thing to not know something, it is however, to not know , stand and defend yourself, and not say anything so others can help. It doesn't get the problems fixed. It will require you thinking about things people are saying, don't take it as being against you, or that your a bad owner, that is not the case, but just as no 2 kids are the same, neither are the gliders, each one has their own ways of talking to you, and each one will read you differently as well. It is up to YOU, to put words to their actions, You need to start to understand what they are feeling, why that may be, and help with possible solutions to fix it. Then you can take the next step to fixing it.

Deanna is still out of town I think, (or maybe she is hiding to make me do this, whichever the reason, I will take you for a walk..... a walk into the mind of your glider, a place you will find yourself, more and more, and a place that will be the starting point and the most important part of trying to help yours and your gliders relationship. You will find this is not only fun, but it will be very rewarding. learning your glider, becoming one with them requires understanding, compassion, love and a lot of patience.

(Erica, you noticed it when you calmed down a lot, things were much better)you changed you,(you calmed down) your gliders behavior changed because of it. this is an very good example of what we have been saying. a very important lesson, you have learned.. now practice it, make it a huge part of how you are around them. For the next 2 days do not take them out of their cage, then we will start to work with them in THEIR comfort zone, but one step at a time, and we are going to start here first. what you learn, you will use, later, (only days.. relax, lets not rush things,) they will let you know when they are ready to move on. we can not work on step 5 till you learn steps 1-4 first. step 4 is hand trust/ and trust building during playtime. which comes after other things. and definitely before the time enjoyment and relaxation in the pouch.

now are we ready to get started?

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: Bourbon] #761174
04/06/09 05:55 AM
04/06/09 05:55 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,336
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Step 2 looking at life through THEIR eyes, not ours.

Erica before I get started, do not assume I am talking about you here, this is the story I tell EVERYONE, to help them understand their glider better.. to look at life through their eyes..it is a hypothetical exercise, to get you to think about how your glider may feel about different situations,

okay , when I am done, I want you to sit back and really think of anything you may have done, anxieties included. After reading this, it should make you sit back and say.. okay now I know better.. and then work on changing things. PRACTICE what you learn here.

the first thing I want to do is make you do some thinking, some thinking as a glider, not as the owner.

Did you know a glider of 100 grams and a human of 125 lbs, that we are 700 times the size of a glider. (now do your own math to get a real comparison based on your weight, and your gliders.)but I am going to use these figures for our examples here.) to imagine what life for our gliders would be like, having an owner that compares, we would have to imagine something..........

87,500 lbs and moving and making noises that we don't understand. now sit back before you continue on, think about this.. think of things you could imagine that is that big, and would be our owner.......


personally I couldn't even imagine something that big moving, talking a different language, something that wouldn't understand our feelings.

so I am going to use King Kong, as my owner, (thinking of the movie, with the girl in his hand on the side of the empire state building,) although the picture is unrealistic according to scale (woman same size as the plane) imagine if she was scaled smaller to the right size..
for those that want a good visual, here is a link to a
Poster of King Kong and the girl

now imagine King Kong just getting you (your only 5 years old)and placing you in a little room, with nothing in it, no furniture, nothing ... (The room is your pouch), the door is only a window, (the top of the pouch)but very high in a building like structure with NOTHING to climb out on to, in order to escape, you can look out, and what you see is ODD, it is not like anything you have ever seen before, the life outside of that window is strange, scary and totally unfamiliar.

now King Kong walks by, makes some noises and puts his hand in the window, and tries to grab you, what defenses do you have against King Kong? kicking, screaming, biting (lunging, crabbing biting), like they really are not going to much damage , but you are so scared, you try them anyway, nothing is working, and you continue to try, he may get annoyed and drop you, but he comes back and grabs you again. NOW.. what are you thinking?


do you care he wants to be your friend? of course not, what are you worried about? why are you afraid? because simply put, you don't want to be his breakfast, lunch or midnight marshmallow snack, for as much as you know about monsters this size, they want to eat you. why would he want to be friends with you? you have NOTHING in common at all. You can't even understand what each other is saying.

Oh no, he gets you, he just put you in a bag, and he carrying you out of your room.. what are you thinking? where is he taking you, what is he going to do.. again are you thinking he wants to be your friend? at this point, do you really care? probably not, do you want to wait around to find out? What are you thinking? the same fears and anxieties as earlier, you don't know, and your uncertain about what is going to happen to you, it is overwhelming to you. your heart is pumping , very fast, you are breathing very hard, your body shakes with fear and your adrenaline is really pumping now..

Oh, he stopped...everything is calm.. what is happening, what is he going to do? You can't see him.. are you going to be calm and wait to see? or are you going to take the first chance you can to get away.

he opens the bag....... he looks at you, all you can see is his face ... what are you really looking at? are you watching his eyes? or his mouth? he is making noises..what is he saying? is he saying how delicious you look? or is he trying to be friends? again, do you care that he wants to be friends? In your head. again, you don't know, it could be either way? which chance are you going to take? the chance he wants to be friends, or the chance he wants to eat you? my money would be the majority of people would think, he wants to eat them.. now you start screaming to leave you alone, you might even try to bite and kick him, but one thing is for sure, again, your heart is beating, you are shaking, your breathing heavy.

Here it comes, he puts his hand into your bag... he hasn't touched you yet.. now what are you thinking? what do you think he is doing? what will you do or try now?

some will choose to wait and see, some will choose to bite and continue to fight, some will try like heck to get out past his hand... (remember different people (gliders) act differently) this part can go in so many different directions..but I would......

try like heck to get as far away from him as possible, cause I KNOW in my head, he wants to eat me, and I am not ready to be his snack cake. sooooo. I will bite first then when he stops, I will run as fast and as far as I can...I will do anything to stay away from him. what would you do? What would you think and why?

Self Preservation kicks in and you......

are so small and he is so big, you have to be quick, smart, you must first get out.. so you bite him, run past his hand, run out, jump, do you care that you may get hurt, do you care the area may be more dangerous than he is? probably not..,He tries to grab you, you are too quick for him, you get away, you run and hide, he uncovers you, and reaches for you. you run under something he continues to come after you. Your heart is pounding so hard, you feel it in your throat. you run again, you climb up something he tries to grab you again. You run again, You jump,

Gawd, he catches you....he is holding you tight, you can't get away, You bite him, he puts you back in the bag, he closes it up tight..

you are moving, where is he taking you? What is going to do? did you anger him? How are you feeling right now? do you think he wants to be friends now? probably not. What are you truly thinking? what are you feeling? What are your plans now?

He puts you back into your room.... What do you do? What are you thinking? What are you going to do when he comes back? How are you going to act? put yourself now in the many situations, that you have placed your glider/gliders in attempts to teach them you want to be friends with them, situations where you have tried bonding with them, before you have given them a chance to trust you. Before giving them a chance to get to know you and what your intentions truly are.


After putting our minds, into the frame set of our gliders, most if not all of us, can sit back and say.. I didn't know, I had no idea. Some of the things I did.. were awful I am sure, they had to be, my gliders was telling me they were.. when they showed me the only way they could, I tried harder, making many times the same mistakes over and over again.. until.....

I stopped one day, and looked deep into her eyes, and started to place myself, in her tiny world, with me as my own monster.. Life turned around for me, and at the same time, I knew I had to change, for her, and you know what, my changes, gave her an opportunity to start to learn more about me, she reacted differently, not only towards me, but at the life I gave her as well.

she became more comfortable with me, with her surroundings, she played more, and she gave me, many, many years of true happiness. we became one, we understood each other, when she spoke to me (with her body language, I listened. Just as she was listening to mine.

When I was happy and calm, so was she, when I was scared, she felt it, she reacted to it, when I was not confidant, and understanding, felt unsure, so did she, she was more anxious, she felt uneasy.

for the next 2 days.... think about this story, think about things you have done, think of how you would have reacted if you were the glider? think about what you will in the future will do differently under the same situations thinking of life through the gliders eyes. could they have been prevented how? How could you have made things easier for the glider?

During these 2 days...do nothing more than use 1 sentence with your glider/gliders open their cage door often, If they are out of the pouch, ONLY look into their eyes, and with the compassion and understanding you have learned, say ONLY 1 sentence.. tell them... everything is going to be ok, do it with the love you feel, keeping your voice steady, sure and low... Watch their body language, learn it, try to put words, and feelings to the looks in their eyes. but keep it, and your hands to yourself, close the door, and go about your business. If they are in the pouch, Open the door, tell them everything is going to be okay, close the door, and walk away. Keeping your hands on the outside of the cage, and your thoughts to yourself.

You will notice when you say that 1 sentence, your tone is now different, your demeanor is now more understanding, the first time, apologize for what has been done in the past while you didn't know, and please let them know.. everything is going to be OK,
IF they want to crab, let them, if they feel there is a need to defend themselves, let them, understand why they may feel that way.. look at it through their eyes, their feelings, their thoughts, not yours.

Let us know, what you are noticing, what you are now seeing from both, your eyes and your gliders... remember from here on out, you are looking at life through THEIR eyes, working on THEIR time, on THEIR terms, not yours.


Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: Bourbon] #761335
04/06/09 01:11 PM
04/06/09 01:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
DeeDancer Offline
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DeeDancer  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
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Dangit, Bourbon, I was still out of town! I only had time for fly-by posts over the weekend, I didn't have time for that big long one...I wasn't even hiding (for once LOl), I had the numbers written down and everything!

Well darn. Lol. Did you get all of that Erica?


~Deanna~
Chinchillas: Luke, Yoda, and Pronk
Gliders: Nika, Ranger, and DeeGee

(702)250-5236
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: DeeDancer] #761421
04/06/09 03:14 PM
04/06/09 03:14 PM

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prettyinpink
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upset Yes... I got all of it. I feel horrible. I understood how small they are and how freaked out they must be from me. But once you said have you had any problems that would make them feel differently? I DID about the whole first month I got them and a little after that. I had a lot of things going on... and I did hold my gliders in their pouch while I cried a few times. Tinkerbell started crabbing like crazy and now I realize that they must've been so confused.

upset This really upsets me. TWO DAYS! upset
They always want out for play time. They will sit at their cage door waiting to come out. And Tinkerbell jumps on me and everything during play time. She glides on me, everything... upset

How is this going to go? I LOVE play time with them. And I know Tinkerbell loves it... Pixie likes being out too. They sit at their cage door until I let them out. upset How long will it be until they can come out? I'm just stressing if you couldn't tell. This is new and I want to know what I have to do after the two days. Do you get what I mean?

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761426
04/06/09 03:19 PM
04/06/09 03:19 PM

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prettyinpink
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prettyinpink
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I'm sorry if that post sounded bad. I'm SUPER tired today... So I'm not all there. shakehead

EDIT: I'm just upset because Pixie loves to snuggle up in my hoddie... Ugg. LOL I can't go a day without seeing them.

Last edited by prettyinpink; 04/06/09 03:23 PM.
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761432
04/06/09 03:27 PM
04/06/09 03:27 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
DeeDancer Offline
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DeeDancer  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
Erica, relax. I don't know if Tyler had you wait two days to interact with the girls when you first got them, but when you get new gliders giving them time to settle in is a good thing. I know that your gliders are not "new" to you, you have had them for a couple of months, so you are probably wondering what gives with the two days thing?

Well, what you're doing here is getting a new beginning with your gliders. You are giving them two days to feel confident with your voice and with their environment, their cage. You are building trust with both of them by showing them that when you open the cage door, you are not going to take them out. You are giving them their secure zone. After this, they will associate your voice and the phrase "Everything is going to be okay" with their secure zone.

I know you want to play with them and I know they like their out time but they will be okay. They need this time to settle down and start learning that they can trust you. This process will build strong trust with your gliders, so just relax. Remember that they can pick up on your feelings and every time you open their cage door you need to be calm and confident. hug2


~Deanna~
Chinchillas: Luke, Yoda, and Pronk
Gliders: Nika, Ranger, and DeeGee

(702)250-5236
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761434
04/06/09 03:32 PM
04/06/09 03:32 PM

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prettyinpink
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Originally Posted By: monluvspagen
I am wondering if Pagen is doing the same thing...? Erica did you read my post about Pagen?


Monika I read you're post... It's EXACTLY the same thing so I don't get why people are saying different things than what they are saying to mine? dunno

Deanna...
Yeah. I'm just really upset. I don't want to start what I got out of Tinkerbell all over again. It took two months for her to be where she is now and I don't want that to start all over from not interacting with her.
I don't know what you guys are going to tell me to do... Maybe I'm just so confused. frown

Sorry... I'm just a bit frustrated right now, I have a lot of things on my mind.

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761453
04/06/09 03:57 PM
04/06/09 03:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
DeeDancer Offline
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DeeDancer  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
You won't lose the progress you made with Tink in just 2 days.
You said you were confused...is there something you need me to explain?


~Deanna~
Chinchillas: Luke, Yoda, and Pronk
Gliders: Nika, Ranger, and DeeGee

(702)250-5236
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: DeeDancer] #761455
04/06/09 04:00 PM
04/06/09 04:00 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
DeeDancer Offline
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DeeDancer  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
Just read your post on the other thread-we are not saying to start the bonding process over. We are helping you start trust building with your gliders.


~Deanna~
Chinchillas: Luke, Yoda, and Pronk
Gliders: Nika, Ranger, and DeeGee

(702)250-5236
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: DeeDancer] #761459
04/06/09 04:02 PM
04/06/09 04:02 PM

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prettyinpink
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prettyinpink
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Yeah... Um I'm a little confused. Could you maybe explain what's going to go on? All you guys really said was leave them alone for two days then we will start? Or did I read it wrong?

I'm just wondering what 'starting' means dunno Do you get what I'm asking?

LOL... sorry. I'm lost.

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761606
04/06/09 08:04 PM
04/06/09 08:04 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
DeeDancer Offline
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DeeDancer  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,035
Las Vegas, NV/Columbus, OH
Lol. Starting RIGHT NOW, do what Bourbon said-leave them alone for two days, only opening the cage door every so often and saying "Everything is going to be okay," and then shutting the cage door again. That's the first thing you are going to do to build trust with them. At the end of the two days, I will tell you what is next.


~Deanna~
Chinchillas: Luke, Yoda, and Pronk
Gliders: Nika, Ranger, and DeeGee

(702)250-5236
Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: DeeDancer] #761610
04/06/09 08:08 PM
04/06/09 08:08 PM

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prettyinpink
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prettyinpink
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LOL I know that part... I'm wondering what comes next. I haven't taken them out of the cage and it's killing me... These next two days are going to kill my insides... shakehead

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761617
04/06/09 08:20 PM
04/06/09 08:20 PM

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Padros4
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Padros4
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You can do it! smile It'll be tough I'm sure, but just remember that as much as it kills you to do this now, it'll benefit ALL of you in the future! That's something to look forward to.

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761618
04/06/09 08:22 PM
04/06/09 08:22 PM

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prettyinpink
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prettyinpink
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Yeah... thanks Jenny. smile

I always give them their daily treats... sucks! It's amazing how attached they can get you... shakehead

Re: Biting. Does anyone have suggestions? [Re: ] #761636
04/06/09 08:44 PM
04/06/09 08:44 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,336
Bee-Bopping round SnakePit USA
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Bourbon Offline
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Erica, simply put, we won't move on to the next step, until the step we are working on is not only understood, but utilized (used), and practiced.

It seems to me you are not really ready to let go of what you are currently doing to do anything different, no we are not going to say what happens in 2 days, why should we? we are not there yet, and in 2 days, you may not be ready to move to the next step. you are still really stuck on step one.

step one... you have to see the need to change what needs fixed. step one is relaxing, step one is reading, step one is listening,

so you want to know what we are asking from you.. go back and learn step one. then when you are ready, read step 2, do not move to step 2 until you are ready, when you really are ready, you will know it.

you are still looking at life through your eyes and what you want. You still want everything fixed now today, you think if you do step 6 that it will work, it will not. all you want is to know in the end what is going to happen. Erica, you are not ready for step 2, step one is where you learn to relax read, listen, and put what you are learning into action.


is there anyone else that is following this thread that may be utilizing what I am typing? if not, then I will not put step 3 up till Erica is ready for it. If you are let me know.

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