I just wanted to let all of you know how much you all mean to me...the support I have received...I feel forever blessed for finding this place.
As for me...I'm still in Miami. We had hoped to go home today, but there is yet again another issue which could push this all the way to Friday...My heart aches...I so desperately want to go home...
I think about my babies constantly...every second I get a moment of silence to myself I go right back to that moment when I received that call from Martin...I cried so hard when he called me, I actually ruined my cell phone...I'm exhausted, both physically and emotionally and I need to get back to my life. My husband was up until 3am tonight trying to install an alarm system because we can't get a company to come here for 2 weeks...and neither of us can wait that long...Someone is supposed to come by at 8am to begin the process to activate the security system...but they said it could take 2-3 days to finalize and we can't leave until it's done...
I've grieved more in the last week than I ever have in my entire life...I've never lost so much in so short a time.....I am at the point where it just plain HURTS...physically...I can't sleep, here it is 5:11am and I'm still wide awake....when I FORCE myself to function...I feel completely NUMB...that is the only word I can think of to describe how I am existing. I am desperately trying to support my husband, today was aweful- We were driving a truck we borrowed from a friend of his we've known forever and someone slammed into us in the parking lot. My husband completely lost it...He just can't take any more and he wants to go home as badly as I do...Being here in her home for so long is difficult beyond words...At times he
sounds like a little boy that lost his mother in the grocery store....he is 35 and has lost both of his parents to cancer...and we just found out last month he has a heart condition which he now takes 4 medications for...I'm a nervous wreck...
I work from home, and my babies were my life. My husband travels nation wide almost every week...and the reason we have so many is primarily because of me...I need someone to LOVE...someone to take care of...someone who needs me and loves me in return...OF course we have our daughter...but my furry babies never ask WHY...it's always unconditional...and sometimes that alone makes everything so much better for me...
I can't believe they're gone. I keep thinking about when I get home...I have to clean their cages and move them downstairs...I know I just can't have them there to remind me...
I wanted to let everyone know that Martin went to the house on Sunday and took all the babies that we lost and he burried them in our back yard...the thing that really touched me beyond the fact that he would do that without asking...He burried them under the tree where we have Cardinals living....They nest there every year and I actualy saved one of their babies from a ferral cat last year...Cardinals are my favorite...so that is Exactly where I would have chosen to place them...
Wanda- CarrieT called me today to say that you have a picture of my Ziggy up somewhere...we were both driving so I couldn't get the info from her...If you would either post a link or PM me I would be so grateful to you...I really need to see him....and please don't think it's because I'm worried that you aren't taking care of him...I just really neeed to see my baby...We've never been apart this long and I feel as though I've abandoned him....He's my super Spoiled little love bug...his favorite is Deli Turkey....(Spoiled Snot) My hubby would take him out in the morning when he would go down to make his lunch and he ALWAYS gave him a bit of Deli Turkey...so when my Husband got this new job and it changed...He would BARK AND BARK wondering WHERE'S THE TURKEY!! But I'm sure you already now, he loves just about everything except Green Beans and Bananas...and just like you said, he'll go to anyone...My Zig Man doesn't have a mean bone in his body...He and Zuri are now my Miracle Babies...
I honestly believe that God often puts people in your path to help see you through life...some just walk around them and go their own way...but I know for a Fact, not only from this with Martin...but also this entire week...whenever everything seemed as dark as it could possibly be...someone would either call or just stop by....and miraculiously things would work themselves out...
I am strong only because I MUST be for my husband and for my daughter...but inside I feel as though I am completely lost. I know when this immediate crisis passes, there will be a day when I am home alone that I will grieve and finally sleep without nightmares...but right now, when I cry, I scare my daughter....and then I feel guilty because my husband has lost so much more than I have...so I feel as though I have no right to put any more on him...I miss my home so much...I miss my babies...I miss my life...But I must hold on to the hope and knowledge that This too shall pass...perhaps never completely, but the pain will ease, and time will pass....
One one last WONDERFUL note...Months ago I had a Lazer neuter done on Ziggy, it was even before I got my Zuri...I opted to keep the Pom, and the
vet was concerned because he had never done that particular proceedure in that way on a glider...There are extremely few
vets in our area that will even see gliders SO after about 6 weeks of debating I decided to go through with it.
I purchased Zuri from CarrieT only to be a companion to my Sweet Ziggy. I felt that it just wasn't fair for someone as wonderful as him to spend the rest of his life without someone of his own kind...now matter how close we are...
About 2 months after the neuter I noticed he was developing a bald spot, though he was not scent marking....I called the
vet and and he said that there was a possibility that the Neuter may not have been successful. He told me that I could bring him back in and that he would do a standard neuter and remove the pom at no charge if it was found that he was still fertile.....WELL...I just didn't want to put him through any more AND at that time he was alone SO...I told the
vet I would hold off...
WELL...According to Wanda...and CarrieT...They both believe that my Ziggy is still Fertile...and there is a slight chance that maybe someday I may have babies onece again....CarrieT....I can't tell you how much that brightened my day...As I told you...I really don't think I can bring myself to get any more gliders...maybe not forever....but definately not for some time....Maybe I'll save up and get a B.E.W...(Pipe Dream)...but the babies I lost simply Can Not Be replaced...
I am so grateful that I still have two babies to love...I am beyond grateful to all of you...and I am so happy to hear how all of you are pulling together to try to organize a formal listing of sitters or foster homes....IT's Critical....and if and when it does happen I will know that my babies played a part in possibly saving the lives of countless others...Please, lets make this happen.
Thank you all again...and Wanda...Please don't forget to PM or email me that link....I'm sure you understand...My email is MoniqueFontaine@comcast.net
I'll Check back whenever I'm able...and hopefully I'll be home by Friday...everyone keep me in your prayers...and if you think of my Ziggy and Zuri....it couldn't hurt to toss in there that they remain STRONG and HEALTHY and wait just a few more days for their mamma to come home...